Learning to Compromise on Managing Money with Sarah & Taylor Nielson - 128

[00:00:00] To get ahead, like just recognize that in the long run, you're going to have big expenses,

[00:00:05] they're going to have big expenses and it's going to be a wash, right?

[00:00:08] But you each have what you need.

[00:00:10] Yeah, but you each have what you need, right?

[00:00:11] And so not playing the fair game because that either makes you angry that you, your partner

[00:00:18] spent more money than you did that month or whatever.

[00:00:21] And you don't have the nice thing they did or it leads to you overspending by

[00:00:25] a lot.

[00:00:27] Welcome to Money Talk with Skyler Fleming, making sense of your money, one Money Talk at a time.

[00:00:32] Let's get talking.

[00:00:33] Hello and welcome to today's episode of Money Talk with Skyler Fleming.

[00:00:38] Today we're talking with Sarah and Taylor Nielsen.

[00:00:40] Sarah is one of my wife's friends and they've known each other for the past few years

[00:00:43] and my wife knows that they like to talk about money so she invited them to come

[00:00:47] on this podcast.

[00:00:48] Today's conversation is a fun one and we get to dive into quite a few different topics.

[00:00:52] This episode is going to be applicable for everyone and especially if you're married.

[00:00:56] If you're married, this would be a great episode to listen to as a couple on a drive or something

[00:01:00] like that.

[00:01:01] We talked about a lot of great things like taking opportunities, how marriage doesn't

[00:01:04] have to be fair, how to support each other, how to think about debt being on the same

[00:01:08] page, how to take steps on your journey when the steps might be different budgets,

[00:01:13] trying new things and the list goes on and on.

[00:01:15] Taylor also shares one of the greatest pieces of advice that we all wish we could

[00:01:19] go back and learn sooner in life.

[00:01:21] So be sure to stick around to the end of the interview to hear what they both have

[00:01:23] to say that they wish they would anew sooner when it comes to money.

[00:01:27] In today's Money Talk Mastery segment we're going to be talking about adult expenses.

[00:01:31] You're going to hear some conversation today about the boring but necessary bills

[00:01:34] like insurance, housing, transportation and the like.

[00:01:37] While these are things that we have to spend money on there are also things that

[00:01:40] we can save on.

[00:01:41] So I want to share some insights on how we can save some money on the necessary

[00:01:44] evils when it comes to our money.

[00:01:46] The money talking points for today's episode are are you a general budget or a specific

[00:01:50] budget kind of person?

[00:01:51] And number two, what are some opposite ways to handle money that you can think about

[00:01:55] now so that you can see the other side of the coin?

[00:01:58] With the money talking points in mind let's get right into today's episode.

[00:02:11] Hello everybody welcome to today's interview on Money Talk with Skyler Fleming.

[00:02:14] Joining me today I have Taylor and Sarah Nielsen and these are a couple of my

[00:02:19] friends.

[00:02:20] They've known each other for a while and we've hung out before and stuff but they've

[00:02:24] mentioned they listen to my podcast and by doing that got themselves on my podcast

[00:02:28] so they can blame themselves for that one or at least Rebecca.

[00:02:31] But Taylor will you go ahead and introduce yourselves maybe tell us a little bit of

[00:02:35] what you do for work and stuff like that?

[00:02:38] Yeah, so I'm Taylor.

[00:02:40] I'm a software engineer.

[00:02:41] I've been working in the field for a few years now.

[00:02:45] Sarah is my wife.

[00:02:47] We've been married for over six years, five years.

[00:02:50] We're in year six and she used to be an elementary school teacher while I was

[00:02:56] finishing up school and now she stays at home with our two kids.

[00:02:59] Awesome well that's good to hear so let's just jump right into the money

[00:03:04] conversation today and Sarah we'll start with you with this first question of

[00:03:09] did your parents talk to you about money?

[00:03:12] Yes they did.

[00:03:14] They helped me learn that to have money you need to work and you never should

[00:03:20] turn on an opportunity to work.

[00:03:22] You should save and pay your tithing.

[00:03:25] Awesome Taylor what did what did you learn from your parents about money?

[00:03:28] I had two sides of it right so I got the typical like you need to save,

[00:03:34] you need to be wise about how you spend your money and so growing up

[00:03:39] we did the 50-40-10 rule where 50% of what we made went into savings,

[00:03:44] 40% went to spending and 10% went to tithing and charity.

[00:03:51] And then I also learned after making a couple expensive purchases that I

[00:03:56] used for like 30 minutes and then never again it kind of became a rule of

[00:04:01] you had to want something for at least three months before buying it.

[00:04:05] So I just learned kind of how to not make impulse money decisions

[00:04:09] but at the same time as much as they talked about that they didn't talk

[00:04:13] about like my dad's salary and how they went about budgeting.

[00:04:17] So I learned kind of about the abstract idea of money but I wasn't really included

[00:04:21] in like the details or really understanding what like real life money is like.

[00:04:25] Interesting I liked the point you made about the 50-40-10 rule.

[00:04:30] Do you think rules of thumb are helpful?

[00:04:33] Like do you think that's something that really stuck with you?

[00:04:36] Yeah I mean I don't think there's a perfect percentage that works for everyone

[00:04:41] but I think it does help you with the practice of recognizing

[00:04:46] there are different areas that you can put your money into

[00:04:49] and a percentage is an easy way to break it up.

[00:04:53] Yeah I like what you mentioned there that maybe the numbers don't work the same for everybody.

[00:04:57] I think that's something that's good to take away.

[00:04:59] Is there something that you learned from your parents that you think applies

[00:05:02] really well toward your marriage now that you think you take directly from that

[00:05:06] and that's for either of you. Is there something you feel that is very applicable?

[00:05:09] Yeah something when I was younger that I think my parents did really well

[00:05:13] they did a great job at supporting each other

[00:05:16] and always making sure that you have money for what you need

[00:05:20] because I feel like when something matters to you

[00:05:22] you always can make it work for the most part realistically at least

[00:05:26] but so I feel like that was really helpful to me getting married

[00:05:31] that if my husband needed a new phone we could get him a new phone

[00:05:35] and I didn't have to have a new phone kind of thing like he could get one

[00:05:39] and we get to support each other that way

[00:05:43] just that budget is a good idea and a guideline

[00:05:48] but it's okay not to always follow it that you can

[00:05:52] get things that you need and always make sure everybody has the things

[00:05:57] that they need and things will work out.

[00:05:59] Did you both land on that I guess same thought process at the same time

[00:06:04] or is there either of you that felt like you had to stick to the budget more?

[00:06:07] It's definitely been a work in progression right

[00:06:10] I mean as our most marriages in every aspect

[00:06:13] when we first started

[00:06:16] we both were very used to living on budgets

[00:06:21] just in different ways.

[00:06:23] Sarah was much more of a

[00:06:26] here's my total budget for the month

[00:06:29] I can move money from like one budget category to another

[00:06:33] if I need to so if I see a cute shirt that's a little more than my clothing budget

[00:06:37] this month I will just decrease how much I spend on food

[00:06:41] or whatever this month I'll live on cheaper food

[00:06:44] whereas I was very much very strict on the categories

[00:06:47] I will stick to my budget by sticking to the category budget

[00:06:51] and that's how I'll stay with it

[00:06:53] and that took some working together

[00:06:56] to figure out what works best for us

[00:06:59] and I think we're in a happy medium right

[00:07:01] like we have our budget, we have the categories set

[00:07:04] so that we know kind of rough areas where we should be spending the money

[00:07:07] but we don't do the strict category where

[00:07:10] I'm not going to send over we are to spend all our food

[00:07:13] we are living on rice and beans for the rest of the month.

[00:07:16] My parents taught me about money growing up

[00:07:19] was that the reasonable things for debt

[00:07:22] would be a modest home, a modest car and an education

[00:07:26] and I think that has helped a lot in our marriage too

[00:07:29] I've heard that debt can be a big challenge in marriages

[00:07:33] so I think that was super helpful to going into a marriage

[00:07:37] to avoid and

[00:07:38] Were you both naturally at that point of like

[00:07:41] debt isn't used for everything

[00:07:43] was that something you had to talk through

[00:07:45] or is that something that clicked for you?

[00:07:47] No I think we're both pretty much on that

[00:07:49] very much on that same page

[00:07:51] and neither of us had debt getting married either

[00:07:53] so that was helpful

[00:07:55] Yeah it's helpful when you come into it and say

[00:07:57] hey let's make, do our finances together

[00:07:59] because when there is debt that's separate

[00:08:01] I think that's what drives couples away from

[00:08:03] doing things together is the your debt my debt

[00:08:05] but when you don't have that

[00:08:07] that makes it a whole lot easier

[00:08:09] How did you guys learn to handle money dearly

[00:08:12] and did you jump into it head first

[00:08:14] or did you guys kind of say okay let's

[00:08:16] maybe start slowly with combining finances

[00:08:19] I don't know how you do money now

[00:08:21] so maybe you don't do money together at all

[00:08:23] but how did you guys learn to do that together

[00:08:25] We just jumped right in everything was

[00:08:27] together from the beginning

[00:08:29] savings that we had

[00:08:31] and we got a combined bank account

[00:08:34] and everything like that

[00:08:36] so we just jumped right in and did it together

[00:08:38] and figured it out as we went

[00:08:40] Did either of you feel like that wasn't a good thing

[00:08:42] like was there ever any

[00:08:44] I guess reservations about doing that

[00:08:46] or do you feel like that was the right way to go for you

[00:08:48] I think it was really a good way to go for us

[00:08:50] I mean luckily we had good guidance

[00:08:52] from parents, family and school

[00:08:54] that told us that we should talk

[00:08:56] about a lot of things before you can get married

[00:08:58] and money is one of them

[00:09:00] and so we'd already had conversations

[00:09:02] and we knew that neither of us had debt

[00:09:05] we knew that neither of us

[00:09:07] really felt like that

[00:09:09] was worth it right and so

[00:09:12] there was that already that financial trust

[00:09:15] going into it

[00:09:17] and so it worked out well for us

[00:09:19] I know some people do

[00:09:21] you still have some separate accounts or whatever

[00:09:23] our version of that is each month

[00:09:25] part of our budget is our personal money

[00:09:27] the don't ask don't tell

[00:09:29] like you don't have to tell me you're spending this

[00:09:31] you can go use it

[00:09:33] but it still comes from the same share

[00:09:35] and so that was good

[00:09:37] and then I mean

[00:09:39] we both had individual credit cards

[00:09:41] which we kept for a while

[00:09:43] but I mean it still

[00:09:45] paid off from the same bank

[00:09:47] we told each other how much it's spent

[00:09:49] every month and kind of threw it together

[00:09:51] and then once we figured out what credit card

[00:09:53] we wanted what a year or two later

[00:09:55] we combined credit card

[00:09:57] well I think that's something that's key too

[00:09:59] you didn't feel like you had to do all of it all at once

[00:10:01] like having separate credit cards is okay

[00:10:03] but you're still talking about it

[00:10:05] it's not like I have my separate credit card

[00:10:07] but I expect our joint account to pay for whatever

[00:10:09] I put on it

[00:10:11] you mentioned you would tell each other each month

[00:10:13] what you spent do you guys talk about money

[00:10:15] with like a regular cadence or do you bring it up

[00:10:17] when it needs to come up

[00:10:19] you know it was kind of funny

[00:10:21] when we were first married I'd have to tell Taylor

[00:10:23] okay we've talked throughout money so much

[00:10:25] I can't talk about this anymore

[00:10:27] so yes

[00:10:29] we talk about money very regularly

[00:10:31] Taylor's always calculating how much

[00:10:33] to do something or if he works this much

[00:10:35] he could do this the money

[00:10:37] or if we had this much

[00:10:39] we could buy this house

[00:10:41] for anyway he's always

[00:10:43] calculating some sort of money to talk about

[00:10:45] that's what led to this podcast

[00:10:47] I was telling Taylor before this

[00:10:49] that me talking about it so much

[00:10:51] maybe Taylor needs to start his own podcast

[00:10:53] or are you going to say Taylor

[00:10:55] I was just going to say now our cadence is more of just

[00:10:57] every month

[00:10:59] because we actually still have some

[00:11:01] credit cards

[00:11:03] so we just at the end of the month

[00:11:05] hey how much is on your personal credit card

[00:11:07] how much is on mine

[00:11:09] how much is on our shared

[00:11:11] how much do you owe on the mortgage

[00:11:13] let me do the math make sure that the right accounts

[00:11:15] have the right balances

[00:11:17] before we go to pay it all

[00:11:19] and so just kind of the month

[00:11:21] like hey what's the number

[00:11:23] throw it in and then that's when

[00:11:25] kind of our checking like ooh this month

[00:11:27] was a little painful like what happened

[00:11:29] I just kind of once a month

[00:11:31] well and with her you talk about having a personal credit card

[00:11:33] we really don't put much on it

[00:11:35] we each just have one little thing

[00:11:37] to keep the credit going on our credit card

[00:11:39] and that makes it easy

[00:11:41] like you don't feel like Taylor's not worried

[00:11:43] that you're spending too much

[00:11:45] or vice versa or anything like that

[00:11:47] Taylor's always worried I'm spending too much

[00:11:49] I guess I probably get where he's coming from

[00:11:51] what are some things you mentioned

[00:11:53] a mortgage you mention slightly

[00:11:55] you mentioned some personal credit cards

[00:11:57] what are some things that you both think

[00:11:59] are important for couples to be aware of

[00:12:01] when it comes to money you mentioned

[00:12:03] talking about money before you got married

[00:12:05] is there anything that stands out in your mind now

[00:12:07] that you've been married for a few years

[00:12:09] how you should make financial decisions together

[00:12:11] I think you want to make sure

[00:12:13] you're both really comfortable with the decision

[00:12:15] if you want to buy a new car

[00:12:17] I think you both need to feel comfortable

[00:12:19] with whatever that entails financially

[00:12:21] so making sure you're both comfortable with it

[00:12:24] so making sure you're both on the same page

[00:12:26] with what it would require

[00:12:28] making sure you're comfortable with that

[00:12:30] and that you're both happy with your financial situation

[00:12:33] if one of you feels like

[00:12:36] totally trapped in a budget

[00:12:38] to bring that up and talk about it

[00:12:40] just so that money is not an issue

[00:12:42] in your life and in your marriage

[00:12:44] Taylor do you think there's anything that

[00:12:46] could be a potential

[00:12:48] I guess landmine for a couple

[00:12:50] like is there something that's come up

[00:12:52] and you don't have to go into a ton of detail

[00:12:54] but is there anything that's come up

[00:12:56] that you think couples can get ahead of that

[00:12:58] a little bit that would be helpful

[00:13:00] the two things that come to mind

[00:13:02] and Sarah kind of touched on it earlier

[00:13:04] is that it's really hard in the beginning

[00:13:06] if you're sharing finances

[00:13:08] to not do like the fare

[00:13:10] right like when we got married

[00:13:12] I needed a new phone

[00:13:14] because my phone was old and about to die

[00:13:16] especially with your college

[00:13:18] yeah

[00:13:20] and it would have been really easy for Sarah to go

[00:13:22] well it's only fair for me to get a new phone now

[00:13:24] which only just doubles these

[00:13:26] large expenses

[00:13:28] and so to get ahead

[00:13:30] like just recognize that in the long run

[00:13:32] you're gonna have big expenses

[00:13:34] they're gonna have big expenses

[00:13:36] it's gonna be a wash right

[00:13:38] but you each have what you need

[00:13:40] yeah but you each have what you need right

[00:13:42] and so not playing the fare game

[00:13:44] because that either makes you angry

[00:13:46] that your partner spent more money

[00:13:48] than you did that month or whatever

[00:13:50] and you don't have the nice thing needed

[00:13:52] or it leads to you overspending by thought

[00:13:55] so that's one

[00:13:56] and then the other one is

[00:13:58] even though Sarah and I had the same ideas

[00:14:00] on money like we both had like the core

[00:14:02] like we want to avoid debt a lot

[00:14:04] we want to follow a budget

[00:14:06] save for retirement

[00:14:08] save retirement

[00:14:09] even though we had the same like core

[00:14:11] the next level up

[00:14:13] the management of it was different

[00:14:15] so different

[00:14:17] and that was something we weren't expecting

[00:14:19] we both believed these same things

[00:14:21] so it should be the same

[00:14:23] but I mean

[00:14:25] I touched on it with the

[00:14:27] compartmentalizing the budget versus overall budget

[00:14:29] like that's one thing

[00:14:31] I know there's a bunch of ways of managing budgets too

[00:14:35] which are so different even if you have those same core beliefs

[00:14:38] like I've seen

[00:14:40] family and friends where like the husband works

[00:14:43] and then he gives his wife a budget

[00:14:45] and puts that money into account

[00:14:47] and then the budget

[00:14:49] I've seen people where

[00:14:51] there's not really but it's like it's an account go

[00:14:53] like that way you don't feel trapped

[00:14:55] and then there's the hey like

[00:14:57] here's our shared idea

[00:14:59] we're both kind of looking at the bills

[00:15:01] let's go

[00:15:03] and each one might work with some people

[00:15:05] but eventually we landed on the

[00:15:07] I pay the bills

[00:15:09] but it's not like I give her a budget

[00:15:11] like we both have full access to the cards and the account

[00:15:13] we both kind of review it

[00:15:15] and then we're more in charge of like the mean

[00:15:17] you'll have like pay the bills and stuff

[00:15:19] and so I think that's something to watch out for that

[00:15:21] just because you have the core money beliefs

[00:15:23] deep down doesn't mean that you have the same

[00:15:25] implementation ideas as well

[00:15:27] and so to talk about that level as well

[00:15:29] yeah like Taylor mentioned earlier

[00:15:31] I had to learn I couldn't buy a shirt

[00:15:33] and it meant we weren't going to have

[00:15:35] enough in our grocery budget that much

[00:15:37] but it wasn't just about me anymore

[00:15:39] it's about your family

[00:15:41] but then you also talked to me about it too

[00:15:43] and we were able to find what works for us

[00:15:45] instead of sticking to each our own individual

[00:15:47] well that's where the conversation is so important

[00:15:49] because if you like you mentioned

[00:15:51] you have the same core beliefs you both want to retire some day

[00:15:53] it's not like Taylor you don't want to retire

[00:15:55] or something like that but you have the same

[00:15:57] general direction but you both have slightly different ways

[00:15:59] of getting there and without talking about that

[00:16:01] that may leave Sarah feeling stranded

[00:16:03] with no ability to buy something she wants

[00:16:05] or at least Taylor feeling like

[00:16:07] there's no direction

[00:16:09] I don't know like those are

[00:16:11] battles that I think every couple has to face

[00:16:13] but through conversation

[00:16:15] and stuff you're able to figure that out

[00:16:17] but how do you guys compromise on those

[00:16:19] like I'm sure there's been places where

[00:16:21] Taylor's gave, Sarah's gave

[00:16:23] both ways like you getting a new phone

[00:16:25] or maybe her being able to take from the grocery budget

[00:16:27] one month or something like that

[00:16:29] how do you guys compromise

[00:16:31] and work through those things when they might be a little

[00:16:33] tense sometimes

[00:16:35] well we talked about it a lot

[00:16:37] and I think something that helped us

[00:16:39] was having a buffer in our budget

[00:16:41] so for a long time my nickname was

[00:16:43] the buffer because I'd always been the buffer

[00:16:45] getting things for our home

[00:16:47] and other things that I thought we needed

[00:16:49] but now I think our compromise

[00:16:51] is we have our roles Taylor's the primary breadwinner

[00:16:54] and I'm the primary breadthoser

[00:16:56] and it works

[00:16:58] yeah it's progressed obviously

[00:17:00] like we've tried different things

[00:17:02] I mean there's no one size fits all

[00:17:04] and it's an experimentation all through marriage

[00:17:07] but like Sarah said for a while

[00:17:09] I wanted my apartment still

[00:17:11] I wasn't ready to give up on that

[00:17:13] so I made a buffer compartment

[00:17:15] where we put some money in there

[00:17:17] and it was like if you feel like

[00:17:19] you need to overflow from one of the other categories

[00:17:22] pull it from the buffer

[00:17:24] but as Sarah alluded to

[00:17:26] it eventually became that

[00:17:28] she saw the buffer as free spend

[00:17:30] and so

[00:17:32] there's an extra on whatever she wants

[00:17:34] yeah so it was like oh here's an extra category

[00:17:36] I can spend as much as I want so

[00:17:38] none of the buffer ever made it to savings

[00:17:40] which is what it's supposed to be like

[00:17:42] mostly savings but just in case

[00:17:44] and so we had to move away from that

[00:17:46] and so I think part of it

[00:17:48] luckily you've been in the financial position

[00:17:50] where we're not living month to month

[00:17:52] where like

[00:17:54] a difference in

[00:17:56] $5 to $100 really isn't

[00:17:58] make or break

[00:18:00] so I was able to compromise

[00:18:02] it's kind of like hey all loosen up

[00:18:04] we're not going to save as much

[00:18:06] our exact dollar amounts in the budgets

[00:18:08] like we both know what we want to spend

[00:18:10] in these categories

[00:18:12] we both know what the month kind of spend

[00:18:14] that we want to do

[00:18:16] and then we both know that we want to save

[00:18:18] and if the month is higher

[00:18:20] we're not going to save as much

[00:18:22] and so there were a few months where Sarah

[00:18:24] was like hey Taylor I feel like we're not saving anything

[00:18:26] and so we had to talk

[00:18:28] we're like look this is what we're spending our money on

[00:18:30] you can either spend your money on this

[00:18:32] or you can't do both

[00:18:34] and so I think realizing

[00:18:36] where money is going

[00:18:38] as well as

[00:18:40] it may not work for everyone

[00:18:42] but loosening up the exact dollar

[00:18:44] in the sent budget really helped

[00:18:46] us at least

[00:18:48] well I'd say Rebecca and I are the same way

[00:18:50] that not being as tight

[00:18:52] because I was running monthly audits

[00:18:54] on our spreadsheet and stuff

[00:18:56] and saying I'm missing like $20

[00:18:58] where's that money at

[00:19:00] I've got this place where I don't care as much

[00:19:02] it still comes up

[00:19:04] but I definitely think

[00:19:06] loosening up and I like what you said about

[00:19:08] be willing to move on from maybe those places

[00:19:10] where you want to

[00:19:12] stay and be willing to try new things

[00:19:14] talk about it often

[00:19:16] that's all very useful so

[00:19:18] I heard you mention

[00:19:20] I think I heard you mentioned to Rebecca Taylor that life gets more expensive

[00:19:22] as you go and it kind of surprises you

[00:19:24] with it being so expensive how do you manage

[00:19:26] to still save for long term goals

[00:19:28] and do you think that's a good argument

[00:19:30] is that even possible

[00:19:32] like how do you save for that

[00:19:34] when life gets so expensive

[00:19:36] I mean there's a few ways

[00:19:38] one I'm a borderline workaholic

[00:19:40] and so I work

[00:19:42] a job and a half

[00:19:44] and luckily the second job

[00:19:46] it's a consulting job

[00:19:48] and I'm in control of my hours

[00:19:50] I could even up it to 40

[00:19:52] so I could basically work two jobs

[00:19:54] if I wanted

[00:19:56] I would have gone into it because it was my passion

[00:19:58] I just got lucky that I like to feel

[00:20:00] that pays on the higher end

[00:20:02] right so how do we

[00:20:04] afford it I mean I work two

[00:20:06] very well paying jobs

[00:20:08] but it's the hard work

[00:20:10] right when I

[00:20:12] didn't have two jobs I was always

[00:20:14] trying to figure out

[00:20:16] is there a second job I could get

[00:20:18] is there something I could do just kind of on my side

[00:20:20] hustle before we

[00:20:22] got married I really wanted to have

[00:20:24] a good nest egg so I did

[00:20:26] well I still think is

[00:20:28] the best and worst job but I did door to door

[00:20:30] sales for three summers which is

[00:20:32] super hard summers but it

[00:20:34] sent me out right so how do we

[00:20:36] afford it I

[00:20:38] I just work harder than

[00:20:40] I think a lot of people are willing to work

[00:20:42] okay like Taylor said

[00:20:44] having a big nest egg before you

[00:20:46] get started and I know it's so different

[00:20:48] for everybody but I worked for

[00:20:50] four years before we had kids

[00:20:52] and I feel like that really helped us

[00:20:54] to get ahead with that nest egg

[00:20:56] for things like buying a house

[00:20:58] and we each

[00:21:00] needed a new car during that time

[00:21:02] and stuff so having

[00:21:04] that really helped us to

[00:21:06] get ahead in a way and

[00:21:08] and then I mean recognizing the time value

[00:21:10] of money right

[00:21:12] I mean you always talk about that

[00:21:14] like the earlier you invest

[00:21:16] when you're 60 it's going to be all

[00:21:18] but like then

[00:21:20] like the super opportunity

[00:21:22] cost levels of it like

[00:21:24] if I spent an extra thousand dollars on a car

[00:21:26] now that's an extra thousand dollars

[00:21:28] that's not there and if I left

[00:21:30] a thousand dollars to compound that's going to be

[00:21:32] three hundred thousand dollars like is that

[00:21:34] three hundred thousand dollars when I'm 60

[00:21:36] worth it and I think

[00:21:38] recognizing

[00:21:40] that like comparing your purchases

[00:21:42] and investments to that

[00:21:44] it makes it easier to

[00:21:46] say instead of it's only

[00:21:48] $50 it doesn't matter to say

[00:21:50] yeah we're putting $50 which doesn't

[00:21:52] seem a lot right now but we'll be glad

[00:21:54] that whoa that not a lot turned into

[00:21:56] something. Yeah I think that could be

[00:21:58] honestly I wish there was a way and very easy

[00:22:00] way for people to just plug in what they're

[00:22:02] spending now and see oh you're actually you're not

[00:22:04] spending $30 you're spending

[00:22:06] $3,000 if you really think about where

[00:22:08] you could put the money because that's

[00:22:10] that's a huge like mind shift for people

[00:22:12] to save money and I know

[00:22:14] you mentioned working hard helps

[00:22:16] bridge that gap towards the nice things you

[00:22:18] want and still saving

[00:22:20] for retirement do you feel like

[00:22:22] maybe I guess that's a little bit of a lesson too

[00:22:24] for people who maybe don't want to that

[00:22:26] you sometimes have to scale back what you

[00:22:28] want if you're not willing to work

[00:22:30] for it do you think that's applicable?

[00:22:32] Yeah well I mean

[00:22:34] I've always told

[00:22:36] people the more I've made and the more

[00:22:38] I've worked the poorer I feel

[00:22:40] because now that you have all this money

[00:22:42] that you think I'm making more I can go spend

[00:22:44] it on fun things you realize

[00:22:46] that there's more

[00:22:48] prudent things that you can now afford like

[00:22:50] you can max out your Roth IRA

[00:22:52] you can now afford

[00:22:54] to put more into your match

[00:22:56] in your 401k you can now afford

[00:22:58] to get a six or eight month savings

[00:23:00] account right and so

[00:23:02] yeah

[00:23:04] to answer the question I think if you're not

[00:23:06] willing to earn more you do have to scale back

[00:23:08] but also the thing that was hard for me is

[00:23:10] recognizing that when you make more

[00:23:12] often it's not

[00:23:14] play money when you make more

[00:23:16] it's more

[00:23:18] other goals it's

[00:23:20] you now can do things that are

[00:23:22] thinking instead of month to month

[00:23:24] That's kind of the fun thing too is that once you

[00:23:26] start doing better with money you realize what you actually want to do with it

[00:23:28] instead of just spending

[00:23:30] because sometimes spending can get away from us

[00:23:32] and maybe we don't really need stuff but

[00:23:34] Oh I still want to do all the fun stuff I just

[00:23:36] control myself

[00:23:38] Awesome well I think this has been a really great conversation

[00:23:40] Of course feel free to add anything if you still have a thought on your mind

[00:23:42] but my final question is

[00:23:44] for each of you what do you wish you would have known sooner

[00:23:46] when it comes to managing

[00:23:48] your money this can be either before you were married

[00:23:50] or now

[00:23:52] put my funny answer in but buy bitcoin

[00:23:54] but my real

[00:23:56] answer I think the thing I would have

[00:23:58] wished I knew about money

[00:24:00] is kind of what I said I didn't get from my parents

[00:24:02] is like the real

[00:24:04] like when I

[00:24:06] got into college I was like sweet I'm going to get a college degree

[00:24:08] and granted

[00:24:10] salary and stuff have gone up

[00:24:12] when I get a college degree I'm going to graduate

[00:24:14] and be making hundreds of thousands of dollars

[00:24:16] because I have a college degree

[00:24:18] not no college then you get to college

[00:24:20] and oh yeah

[00:24:22] our college average salary

[00:24:24] after graduation is $50,000

[00:24:26] but

[00:24:28] I think I could make that if I just worked

[00:24:30] at ten hour a day excavation job

[00:24:32] like why am I studying

[00:24:34] or

[00:24:36] I always thought that if you worked

[00:24:38] in a college white

[00:24:40] color field like

[00:24:42] you're overflowing with money

[00:24:44] you can afford a house

[00:24:46] and a car

[00:24:48] and basically any food you want

[00:24:50] the budget is there as a general idea

[00:24:52] but I thought you could afford it

[00:24:54] so I think the reality of money

[00:24:56] is what I wish I would have known sooner

[00:24:58] what do people actually make

[00:25:00] when they go to college when they don't

[00:25:02] what does it actually cost

[00:25:04] to live in a three bedroom house

[00:25:06] a five bedroom house

[00:25:08] what does it actually cost to feed a family

[00:25:10] right like all these

[00:25:12] real money items is what I wish

[00:25:14] I would have known sooner

[00:25:16] it would have given me a better perception

[00:25:18] about what I could expect out of life

[00:25:20] yeah that's a great point Sarah do you have anything

[00:25:22] you wish you would have known sooner with money or do you know it all

[00:25:24] no I

[00:25:26] I definitely don't know it all

[00:25:28] Taylor kind of touched on this a tiny bit

[00:25:30] but I wish I would have known

[00:25:32] how many how much

[00:25:34] of your money as an adult goes to things

[00:25:36] that aren't fun things like health

[00:25:38] insurance car insurance

[00:25:40] utilities just all those

[00:25:42] like expenses that you don't see

[00:25:44] as a child because I remember

[00:25:46] certain experiences

[00:25:48] growing up where it's not

[00:25:50] in the budget and I just can understand

[00:25:52] how you make so much money

[00:25:54] and it's not

[00:25:56] in the budget

[00:25:58] but going along with that

[00:26:00] just how much

[00:26:02] control and say you have on

[00:26:04] where your money goes at the same time that

[00:26:06] those little

[00:26:08] $5 $10 purchases

[00:26:10] out of really fast

[00:26:12] awesome well thank you both for coming

[00:26:14] on my show and talking about money

[00:26:16] it was a fun conversation we talked about a

[00:26:18] whole bunch of things about like take opportunities

[00:26:20] support each other I liked

[00:26:22] one thing I wrote down here is that fair isn't required

[00:26:24] think that was something that was really interesting

[00:26:26] that people can take away from this one

[00:26:28] and some great conversation here so

[00:26:30] thank you both for coming on

[00:26:32] of course thanks for having us

[00:26:34] music

[00:26:42] thank you so much to Sarah

[00:26:44] and Taylor for that wonderful interview that was

[00:26:46] fantastic and I wanted to talk about real

[00:26:48] quick here some impacts that you might be able to

[00:26:50] take away from their interview

[00:26:52] first thing is that understand that getting

[00:26:54] married or being married means that you're going to have to give up

[00:26:56] some of the ways that you manage money

[00:26:58] I think Sarah and Taylor can attest to that

[00:27:00] in their interview today but also my wife

[00:27:02] and I can as well there's some things that we've both

[00:27:04] had to adjust on how we want to handle money

[00:27:06] and there's some ways that Sarah and Taylor described

[00:27:08] that they had to adjust on how they handle money

[00:27:10] and that's okay that's what's so fun about

[00:27:12] being married and handling money together

[00:27:14] so you have to adjust and learn and grow with

[00:27:16] each other and then you got to do it together

[00:27:18] and you're like hey this is how we handle money and that's really cool

[00:27:20] and another thing that I think

[00:27:22] could be impactful is understanding that rules

[00:27:24] of thumb can be a really good starting point

[00:27:26] Taylor shares that the 50-40-10

[00:27:28] budget allowed him to get started

[00:27:30] and it was a good rule of thumb for him a couple others

[00:27:32] might be using auto percentages

[00:27:34] some people like to say save 10%

[00:27:36] donate 10% and then budget with the rest

[00:27:38] of it things like that percentages are

[00:27:40] really good because they fluctuate as you gain more money

[00:27:42] so consider using percentages

[00:27:44] another rule of thumb is the 4% rule for

[00:27:46] financial independence I think

[00:27:48] rules of thumb can be a really good starting point to help

[00:27:50] you dive down the rabbit hole to learn a little

[00:27:52] bit more about what you want to do with your money

[00:27:54] but that's the impact that you might be able to take

[00:27:56] from today's episode let's talk about the money

[00:27:58] talking points next

[00:28:00] Music

[00:28:08] So the first money talking point

[00:28:10] are you a general budget or a specific

[00:28:12] budget kind of person I am

[00:28:14] very much a specific budget kind

[00:28:16] of person what are you let me know

[00:28:18] shoot me an email go to my website and leave

[00:28:20] a comment about what kind of a budget person are you

[00:28:22] but this leads greatly into my second

[00:28:24] money talking point which is what are some

[00:28:26] opposite ways to handle money that you can think

[00:28:28] about now to see the other side of the coin

[00:28:30] if you're a very strict

[00:28:32] specific budget kind of person try not sticking

[00:28:34] to it so directly give it a

[00:28:36] shot like Sarah and Taylor's

[00:28:38] opposites were Sarah

[00:28:40] wanted to maybe spend a little bit so she was

[00:28:42] okay with taking from one category and using it

[00:28:44] on another whereas Taylor was very strict and

[00:28:46] wanted to stick to the categories that

[00:28:48] that's okay this can be a great way to help

[00:28:50] you see the other side for me

[00:28:52] was sticking to a strict budget wanted to keep

[00:28:54] track of every single dollar in our lives

[00:28:56] and I let up on this that's

[00:28:58] okay I realize hey that's not

[00:29:00] necessary I do still keep good tabs

[00:29:02] on where money is because I like

[00:29:04] to know the numbers and keep them specific

[00:29:06] and accurate but

[00:29:08] I also know that from month to month it's

[00:29:10] okay to let it slide a little bit and say hey we

[00:29:12] overspent in this category but look how much extra we had

[00:29:14] in this other one so will be fine what

[00:29:16] do you need to let up on what do you need to try out

[00:29:18] are you cheap and don't spend any money

[00:29:20] try spending a little bit more on something nice

[00:29:22] but don't use this as a chance

[00:29:24] to do bad things with your money so let's

[00:29:26] say you're investing 25% don't suddenly

[00:29:28] start spending that 25% that's not

[00:29:30] what I mean to do with this money

[00:29:32] talking point maybe look at the small

[00:29:34] little things and see if there's a slight different way

[00:29:36] you can handle your money they can help you

[00:29:38] see another way to do it and another way to try

[00:29:40] it out and this can be a great money talking

[00:29:42] point because it's going to help you start some conversations

[00:29:44] around how people manage money differently

[00:29:46] and how that's okay it's okay that we all

[00:29:48] manage money differently but don't go out

[00:29:50] and start doing bad things with your money and say

[00:29:52] Skyler Fleming told me to on his podcast

[00:29:54] that to try the other side of the coin and that meant

[00:29:56] not saving anything so that's not what I mean

[00:29:58] try out and have a conversation with people about

[00:30:00] other ways you can handle money but I want

[00:30:02] to talk about a personal finance power up next

[00:30:04] that I think is going to be really helpful for

[00:30:06] everyone listening

[00:30:14] alright today's personal finance power up

[00:30:16] is really meant for couples but it's

[00:30:18] applicable to everybody and that's to align

[00:30:20] your core money thoughts

[00:30:22] understand that the steps after that though

[00:30:24] will be different dream together

[00:30:26] it's a ton of fun so let's start there

[00:30:28] what would you do if you want the lottery

[00:30:30] this is a great way to get a dreaming

[00:30:32] based conversation going talk about the big

[00:30:34] things and go from there then figure

[00:30:36] out how you want to get there that's

[00:30:38] when the steps are going to get different

[00:30:40] and that's what was shared in today's interview

[00:30:42] with the same general core money beliefs

[00:30:44] but then the next steps

[00:30:46] might be slightly different so align

[00:30:48] yourselves on your goal and then it gets a whole lot easier

[00:30:50] to compromise on the small things

[00:30:52] because you know you're heading in that same direction

[00:30:54] maybe you get to that point six months later

[00:30:56] because one of the two in a marriage

[00:30:58] wants to do something slightly differently

[00:31:00] six months is going to be okay but you're still

[00:31:02] going to get there so it's a whole lot easier

[00:31:04] to let up on the small things

[00:31:06] when you have the same target in mind

[00:31:08] so that's a great place to start and that's your

[00:31:10] next power up for today but next

[00:31:12] let's talk about money talk mastery

[00:31:14] music

[00:31:22] in today's money talk mastery segment

[00:31:24] I want to talk about adult expenses

[00:31:26] and how you can save on them

[00:31:28] so we're going to go through a list of

[00:31:30] different things different common

[00:31:32] required expenses in our day to day

[00:31:34] lives and touch on a few ways that you

[00:31:36] could save money on them housing

[00:31:38] this one I think I kind of wrote down a

[00:31:40] simple obvious answer but by a smaller house

[00:31:42] maybe you don't need as massive of a house

[00:31:44] as you have and maybe now it's an opportunity

[00:31:46] to move or it's something you can begin

[00:31:48] saving towards so that you can really save yourself some money

[00:31:50] but you could also consider renting

[00:31:52] part of your house out if you have a giant house

[00:31:54] that's something that can help offset the cost

[00:31:56] of your mortgage a lot and I know it's something

[00:31:58] that a lot of people do and especially if you have

[00:32:00] extra bedrooms and don't need them

[00:32:02] it's a way you could really save some money

[00:32:04] the next one I want to talk about is transportation

[00:32:06] for me and I have episodes on this on my podcast

[00:32:08] but take public transit ride a bike

[00:32:10] drive less that's a great way to save

[00:32:12] money on transportation if you're spending a ton of

[00:32:14] money on gas then you need to

[00:32:16] consider how you can drive less consider

[00:32:18] riding a bike consider a bus plus a bike

[00:32:20] because often buses aren't going to be a great

[00:32:22] way to get right to the destination you want

[00:32:24] to go but maybe a bus is a great way to

[00:32:26] get near it and then you can bike with a

[00:32:28] basket or a cart behind it or something to go

[00:32:30] get groceries get knee bike those are a

[00:32:32] great way to save a lot of money my wife

[00:32:34] and I spend less than a hundred dollars a month

[00:32:36] often way less than a hundred dollars a month

[00:32:38] on gas for our cars because

[00:32:40] I ride a knee bike and we both have public

[00:32:42] transit passes and things like that so

[00:32:44] we save a ton of money there on transportation

[00:32:46] groceries and food is another

[00:32:48] necessary expense for everyone we have to

[00:32:50] eat right well with food

[00:32:52] I consider food as eating out I consider

[00:32:54] groceries as meals so eat out

[00:32:56] less that one's pretty simple in my

[00:32:58] opinion eating out is so expensive

[00:33:00] especially if you have honestly more

[00:33:02] than one person but once you get over

[00:33:04] one person you start to get to two or three

[00:33:06] or four or five people eating out it is so

[00:33:08] expensive when I over here

[00:33:10] cashiers read the total of a family

[00:33:12] that's eating out I don't understand how

[00:33:14] that's affordable at all it's so expensive

[00:33:16] and I don't I don't get it I don't like to eat

[00:33:18] out a lot because it is expensive so that's

[00:33:20] one that I would consider putting on the

[00:33:22] chopping block consider eating out less

[00:33:24] but another way you can save money on groceries is by

[00:33:26] meal planning I have an app that I love

[00:33:28] to use it's called paprika 3

[00:33:30] it's available on both android and

[00:33:32] iPhone I believe but episode 112

[00:33:34] of my podcast if you go

[00:33:36] back in search for that wherever you're listening to this on

[00:33:38] is all about managing a grocery budget

[00:33:40] that's a great starting point of how

[00:33:42] to get started with meal planning if groceries

[00:33:44] is the one where you're like yeah that's where

[00:33:46] I need to save money go back and listen to

[00:33:48] episode 112 couple other

[00:33:50] ones here utility bills cell phones

[00:33:52] and monthly subscriptions utility bills

[00:33:54] consider a smart thermostat that puts it in

[00:33:56] eco-motor automates your heating

[00:33:58] and cooling use the weather to

[00:34:00] heat and cool your house I know right now it's the spring

[00:34:02] time so it gets kind of cold during

[00:34:04] the morning so it's a little chilly in the morning when we wake

[00:34:06] up but we let the sun into the house

[00:34:08] and it heats it right up and it's a nice

[00:34:10] seventy three seventy four degrees

[00:34:12] in the house just by the sun it's a little warm

[00:34:14] even but we use the sun to help heat

[00:34:16] our house and we know during the summer we're

[00:34:18] gonna have to run the air conditioner but in the fall

[00:34:20] we can open up the windows and let the breeze

[00:34:22] blow through and we can use that to cool our house

[00:34:24] and then we avoid spending the money there

[00:34:26] and that's an awesome opportunity to

[00:34:28] use sinking funds to maybe

[00:34:30] budget regularly

[00:34:32] more than your utility bill so that the

[00:34:34] month that it is high you can say oh yeah

[00:34:36] we got some savings there that's okay

[00:34:38] so like your July utility

[00:34:40] bill you use some of the extra money

[00:34:42] you budgeted from March and April where it wasn't

[00:34:44] so expensive to say yeah we got this

[00:34:46] we're okay we're not busting the budget

[00:34:48] because of an expensive air conditioner

[00:34:50] bill one month as for cell phones

[00:34:52] you don't need unlimited data it's very

[00:34:54] unlikely that you need to have unlimited

[00:34:56] data and if you're saying to yourself

[00:34:58] well I use my phone for work

[00:35:00] consider having your work pay for your phone

[00:35:02] ask if that's a thing you shouldn't be

[00:35:04] taking the whole bill of unlimited data

[00:35:06] and those expensive charges that you get

[00:35:08] for your phone because you're using it for work

[00:35:10] but that's a separate conversation but

[00:35:12] I don't think you need unlimited data I think

[00:35:14] that's something you should try to challenge in your life

[00:35:16] I think it's something that we've been ingrained

[00:35:18] into our day-to-day habits with

[00:35:20] our phones but we don't really need it

[00:35:22] I really like Mint Mobile my wife and

[00:35:24] I both have it we have their 5 gigabyte plan

[00:35:26] and it's only $15 a month

[00:35:28] I believe and it's super easy we stay

[00:35:30] under that we don't even go near it sometimes

[00:35:32] I think my wife hit it once the day

[00:35:34] that it renewed or something like that

[00:35:36] was no big deal monthly subscriptions

[00:35:38] I talked about this in a recent episode so I won't

[00:35:40] talk about it too much but turn off

[00:35:42] auto renewal those are just a few

[00:35:44] what are other things that you'd like to save money on

[00:35:46] let me know on social media or in an email

[00:35:48] but let's wrap up today's episode next

[00:35:52] what are some tips

[00:35:54] for getting married

[00:35:56] what are some tips

[00:35:58] for getting married

[00:36:00] overall make sure you avoid spending more than

[00:36:02] you need to on those necessary expenses

[00:36:04] in your life and get this

[00:36:06] all those changes you want to do in your financial life

[00:36:08] you don't have to do them all at once

[00:36:10] that's what's pretty awesome and that's something that was shared

[00:36:12] in today's interview but also realize that

[00:36:14] you do have to give in a marriage and that things

[00:36:16] won't always be fair and that's okay

[00:36:18] so what are some insights that you took away from today's

[00:36:20] episode I would love to hear them and I would love

[00:36:22] to hear anything that you had to think

[00:36:24] about this podcast so far so please go to

[00:36:26] skylarflemming.com

[00:36:28] and send me your thoughts on this episode or any questions

[00:36:30] you might have for future episodes if you have a guest

[00:36:32] suggestion I would love to hear it

[00:36:34] it's a great place to share it but thank you so much

[00:36:36] for listening and thank you to Sarah and Taylor

[00:36:38] for coming on today's podcast and again

[00:36:40] thank you to my wife for helping me set up some of these

[00:36:42] great guests that I've had on in recent episodes

[00:36:44] but I really appreciate everybody listening

[00:36:46] sharing and having money talks

[00:36:48] thank you for listening to money talk with skylar

[00:36:50] I'm your host Skylar Fleming have a great week

[00:36:52] thank you for listening to money talk with skylar

[00:36:54] Fleming this show is provided for

[00:36:56] informational and entertainment purposes

[00:36:58] and may not be specific to your unique

[00:37:00] situation please be sure to do

[00:37:02] additional research before making any

[00:37:04] financial decisions