Setting Goals That You’ll Keep with Derrick Kinney - 164

[00:00:00] Welcome to Money Talk with Skyler Fleming, where we talk about money because there's more than just math to your finances. Let's get talking. Welcome Money Buddies to this week's episode of Money Talk with Skyler Fleming. This week we're talking about goal setting and you're probably saying to yourself right now, Skyler, today's January 30th, not December 30th, why are we talking about goal setting a month late? Well, that's because I'm frankly not a huge fan when it comes to New Year's resolutions. Most of them have been stopped or failed by now, which is completely okay.

[00:00:28] I think we should work on setting goals throughout the year and knowing how to set realistic and powerful goals for our finances can be really helpful. And I'm sure you've heard it over the past month, most people quit their New Year's resolutions before the month of January is even half over. So I'm excited to learn with you a lot today about goal setting. We're going to be touching on New Year's resolutions, money specific tips, and wrap it all up with what to do if you actually do fail a goal. We're diving into why New Year's resolutions don't work and we're going to talk about how to set goals.

[00:00:55] Should you only stick to those smart, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-based goal setting methods? Or how can you make a goal actually stick? What if you're still going strong with your New Year's resolutions? How do you push through those hard times to keep your goals going? There's going to be a lot of great tips that come from today's episode. But if one of your goals is to do better with your money in 2025, I'm taking new financial coaching clients right now.

[00:01:18] We can chat at whatever time works for you by heading over to Money Talk with SkylerFleming.com slash chat, which is in the show notes, and we can work together to figure out how you can make your money work for you in 2025. But let's get back to today's episode and introduce today's money buddy. Today's money buddy is Derek Kinney. Derek Kinney is on a mission to help individuals who feel left behind to build wealth and the life they deserve. Raised in a lower middle class family, Derek faced significant challenges early on. However, through hard work, clear goals, and strategic planning, he became a millionaire by the age of 37.

[00:01:48] After building one of the top financial planning firms in the country, Derek has helped countless individuals achieve their own millionaire dreams with a proven actionable plan. Today, he is known as America's financial educator, dedicated to empowering people to take control of their financial futures. With first-hand experience of the struggles many face in their financial journey, Derek understands the frustration and uncertainty that can come with trying to build wealth. He's here to provide the guidance and tools needed to overcome those barriers and achieve long-lasting financial success. But I'm really excited for today's interview with Derek. It's a great one.

[00:02:18] The money talking points for today's episode. Those are first, what does your ideal year look like? And two, what is a goal you would want and what pain would it cause to not achieve it? And three, what goals do you need to reset? With those money talking points in mind, let's get talking. Hello, everybody. Welcome to today's interview on money talk with Skyler Fleming.

[00:02:47] Joining me today, I have Derek Kinney. And we're about a month out from New Year's. So we're talking about goals because you've probably quit your New Year's resolutions by now. And you maybe want to get those back up and going. Derek, before we get into that, could you introduce yourself for everyone? Oh, my pleasure. First of all, Skyler, thank you for having me. It's a real honor to be on your show. We actually met, we came across each other first at FinCon, but I have a passion. I sold my financial planning practice after 25 years and I helped a lot of people become millionaires.

[00:03:16] I realized that I wasn't going to settle for a limited few people learning those secrets. I've developed a concept called going from middle class to millionaire, giving everyone access those tools so that they can achieve financial freedom. And that's the mission I'm on today. That's fantastic. You're kind of, you're trying to go from that one to one to many. That's right. Awesome approach there. But like I said, today we're talking about goals. When I was doing some research, I found some content on your page that you were talking about goal setting, things like that.

[00:03:45] The reason New Year's resolutions fail. And that got my mind churning and thinking this could be a great conversation, especially with this episode coming out right around the end of January. Let's go ahead and kick it off with why do you think people quit their goals? Why do we stop in the first place? I think culture says you need to have goals and people say, have New Year's resolutions. There's this pressure that people feel to do something. This whole new year, new you concept really grinds deep on so many people.

[00:04:11] But you know how so many people are busy and they feel worried and frustrated. They simply don't want to repeat last year again this year. And they think New Year's resolutions are the way to do that. The problem is they're often wrong. I was talking to a couple recently that said, Derek, you know, we want to have our better year this year than last year. What can we do to change that? And they talked about, do I need to read more books and stop watching TV and eat better exercise?

[00:04:39] And all of those things are good and part of the plan. But what I said is just write down something you really care about and how painful it would be for you not to achieve it. And they paused. They're like, you mean like setting goals? And I said, yeah, that's how I define goals is something you want. And then how bad would it feel if you don't achieve it? Then it became personal.

[00:05:02] When people can make their goals personal, deeply unique to them and their goals and their dreams and desires. And then what's at stake if they don't achieve those goals? That's where the power of staying focused, fighting life back because life comes at you fast. Without a plan and your goals, life will basically tell you what its goals are. So we want to fight against that and give people a game plan to live the life they really want.

[00:05:29] Yeah. And you mentioned right there, if you don't fight back or find that life, it's going to start to control you. And I think the same goes with our careers. If you don't have a plan or a path, corporate America, so to speak, is going to find you a path. And I think the same goes with goals. Why can it be so hard to stick to those resolutions? Well, I think it's two things. First of all, we're trained that if you're not already making progress on your goals by the second week of January, you get an F. You're kicked out of class. You're suspended for the year.

[00:05:58] You've got to settle for the same year this year as last year. And that is just not right. I mean, that's so much pressure to say, I've got to completely change my life in two weeks. And so what I tell people is, screw that. Take the entire month of January to get your financial life in order. And here's what I mean by that.

[00:06:19] Identify three personal goals and three financial goals that are meaningful to you, possibly you and your spouse, your family, but that will help you get ahead financially and personally. And then write out what's at stake if I don't achieve these goals. And what that does is it makes it so personal and relatable. You might have already canceled your gym membership. Take one month to get clarity on what you want.

[00:06:46] Not what other people tell you or think you should have. Take one month to get zoned in on what it is they take the next 11 months and freaking crush it. Now here's my GPS. It's set in. I've taken 30 days to lock in the exact coordinates. Now I'm going to bust my tail to hit those goals really, really hard. The key is also to put in incentives and rewards for yourself. But so important.

[00:07:12] We think that being in kindergarten and first grade was the only time we needed incentives and rewards. It turns out adults are even more incentivized by it. You know, when you talk to people about, hey, what about your favorite concert or going on a trip and you tie that to a goal, suddenly it gives you meaning and purpose. Set a monthly goal. Maybe it's I want to go to my favorite coffee shop or go to a concert with a friend or have an experience.

[00:07:36] Then you're focused on just 30 days of doing something hard to reward myself with something I really, really want. Because I believe there's no greater enjoyment than going to your favorite concert and not just enjoying the concert, but knowing how hard you kicked your own butt to make progress on your goals to get there. You're celebrating the concert and celebrating you for pushing through hard things. That's fantastic. Has there been a hard goal in your life that this framework helped you figure out?

[00:08:06] How have you seen this work for you? Having built a business for 25 years, I was able to build one of the top financial planning businesses in the country. Part of it was understanding clients' problems relating to them and providing solutions. When I started that business, I was 26 years old. I looked like I was 13. I asked myself, who would invest with a guy like me?

[00:08:28] I had to come up with a strategy that would help endear myself to my perspective people because I saw the people I wanted to work with working with other advisors. And I thought, that's not right. I didn't come from the gene pool of the popular kids or have all the contacts, the country club membership, or all the things that would set me apart and give me that edge that other people had. I didn't have the secrets that other people knew. And so I began to give back in my local community.

[00:08:55] When I was a senior in high school, no one ever came back to recognize students or teachers and give us a glimpse of the real world. People just said, study history and math and science and get a good grade and life will be okay. I thought there was more to that. Life wasn't just about that. So I went back to my alma mater high school in Arlington, Texas, where I live today. And I began to recognize a teacher and a student of the month with two Amazon gift cards.

[00:09:21] And we began to put these in the media and let people know, hey, we're happy to support local education. Well, I got a call Skylar about a month later. And what the woman said to me completely changed how I began to build my business. And you think about business. She said, Eric, we know you're new. We know you're young, but we like your passion in the community. We want to work with you because you care about what we care about. What that taught me was it didn't matter what I thought people wanted.

[00:09:49] They wanted to work with something they know, liked and trusted and could manage their money well. So how that was a challenge I worked through was getting out of my own head of thinking what I thought people wanted. You got to be the smartest and the best looking and be on top of all the market trends. And you need to have, you just need to be able to care about what other people care about.

[00:10:09] And when I realized that and then began to set goals on how many clients can I truly listen to and truly empathize with and not try to sell, but simply listen to what they wanted. That was the key to success and helping a whole lot of people become clients and quite a few of them become millionaires. That was a fantastic challenge you worked through. I enjoyed hearing about that. How can accountability partners be used? I like to call my community the money buddies, or how can people talk to their friends to help them stick through their goals?

[00:10:38] Can that be useful? Should we have regular check-ins with our friends? I think it's critical. You know, so many people will sell you on, listen, you just need to be self-motivated. Well, the reality is very few of us are motivated at all, and even fewer are self-motivated. You know, I will talk occasionally to athletes or entertainers, people who are regarded as highly successful. On the outside, they look like they're completely self-motivated. They wake up ready to crush the world every day.

[00:11:08] You find they are just like ordinary people. Their kids didn't listen to them. Somebody cut them off in traffic. They're worried about providing for their family, spoiling their kids. All the concerns and fears and worries that we have, they have as well. The bottom line is, if you don't have someone who's asking you on a regular basis about getting to what you want, you are not going to get what you want. For example, I was on the film set of a friend of mine.

[00:11:37] He was in a movie and it took about 21 days of filming to film an entire movie. Okay. Which is amazing. You think that an entire movie would take a little longer, right? By observing the producers and how they did all this stuff, it was fascinating. Every day there was a goal of work they needed to get done. The assistant producer was there to help hold the producer accountable. His assistant was there to hold the actors accountable. And then the other person held the extras accountable.

[00:12:04] So the whole point was they had their own version of money buddies, but they were movie buddies essentially. And the point was you can't do it all yourself. You're going to get so distracted and focused on the big picture. Research shows this. There's survey after survey that shows one of the biggest points of embarrassment is if I've told someone I'm going to do something and I have to go back and tell them I didn't do it.

[00:12:29] That causes people to say, oh my gosh, even if I have five minutes to go, how can I at least make some progress on this? What can I do? So I don't put myself in a position where I failed what I told someone I would do. And so I find accountability is critical. You think about an athlete who is a great baseball player and good ball players, maybe they hit the ball one out of every three times. I mean, that's success.

[00:12:53] A lot of these ball players will have separate coaches that will only work on their hit or their swing or how they run to first base or these little nuanced things. And what the athletes will say is they would not have made the progress unless they had a coach or an accountability partner who can see things they can't see. But I think accountability is vital if you want to achieve the year this year that you want to make it better and different than last year. Yeah.

[00:13:22] I love when people relate baseball to goals because you think of how low of a percentage that is, like one out of three. If we did what we wanted to do 33% of the time, we're hard on ourselves. But I don't know. I don't I'm not a huge baseball fan, but like there's a there's a number that's like considered Hall of Fame, but it's still not like 80 or 90%. It's still a pretty low percentage. So I love when baseball gets equated to goals because there's kind of helps you realize you don't have to be perfect. We're here at the end of January. People are realizing their New Year's resolutions are fading. How do we restart?

[00:13:52] Should we take that one month framework of figuring out your goals and apply it to February? How should we get that back up and going? Yeah, let me debunk a huge myth here. And that is that New Year's resolutions are only allowed to be set and discussed the first two weeks of January. We're going to debunk. We're going to take a big eraser right now and erase that off the board. And we're going to say that any time you want to reset your goals, you have a reset button that you're carrying with you all the time.

[00:14:22] Think about this. Like right now, as we're watching some football and playoffs, and one thing that coaches will often tell the defense, these cornerbacks and defensive backs where the receiver runs out, they throw the pass. And let's say they missed the ball. They make a mistake. The coach will often say, forget about that. Last play should not dictate your next play. That was in the past. Your past has passed.

[00:14:48] And what I would tell people right now is even if you were to do this, I had a client one time that came to me. She said, Derek, I don't like setting goals. I feel like I continue to disappoint myself. I continue to screw up and I don't want to set goals at all. And we went through this exercise for 11 months out of the year. It was from January to November. She was like, well, forget it. The rest of the year is just gone. I said, you know what? What the heck? You still have one month to go. Let's set one goal in the month of December.

[00:15:15] And her goal happened to be, I want to lose seven pounds in the month of December. And so we set out a game plan of how much weight to lose each week and each day. And she was able to do that even through the holidays because she was like, what do I have to lose? Well, nothing. There were low stakes. The pressure was low. But even after 11 months, she still crushed one of her goals.

[00:15:39] And what that did, it built up her momentum to not just get more physically active in the new year, but also focus on her money goals. And what we find, Skyler, and research will show this as well, is if you can achieve success in one category of your goals. So for example, as I meet with my family on a yearly basis, we do family goal setting. And so we'll set a goal in one of these areas, business, personal, finance, physical, and then a family goal.

[00:16:04] If you can achieve success in one category, your mind plays this trick on you and it begins to make you believable. If you were successful in that one category, I think you could actually be successful in two categories. And it's the big mo. It's now momentum is like, well, I did it over here. I can do it over here. It doesn't always mean you're going to hit exactly the goal. But I think most of our listeners would agree, would you rather hit even 60% of the goal than 0% of the goal?

[00:16:34] That's the game that we're playing. That's exactly what I was going to say. Even if you're able to get that momentum, half of the goal that you thought you'd never achieve is better than 0%, just like you said there. That's, I think, a perfect way to paint that picture. And there was something in my life recently. There was a challenge that was hard to get 100%. It was hard to fully complete this challenge. But the circumstances had changed where the reward was a little smaller, but it was easier to get to. So that smaller reward is easier to get 100% of the time than maybe getting halfway on the harder challenge.

[00:17:02] And I think as we're thinking through here about that person who went the whole year struggling to set a goal, but then figured one out at the end of the year, that helps almost begin to answer this next question of should we only go for small goals or should we only aim for big gigantic goals? How do you break down goal setting? Well, let's go back to the very beginning. That is ask yourself, what is it that you want? And one of the best ways to lead this exercise. Now, this is going to sound crazy, crazy Skylar. I'm ready.

[00:17:32] I walk my kids through this and I walk other people through this as part of the financial planning process on a simple note card right at the top, my best year ever. And I write out the year as though it has already happened. And it was the best year you've ever had. I have great relationships with my kids. My wife loves me more than ever. Clients love working with me.

[00:18:00] I've attracted 20 new clients this year. My bank account has grown to my investments are this. The whole point is you are writing out in the future. What your ideal year has looked like as though it's already happened. Then every morning, every night as I'm reading that it keeps you laser focused on what it is that you want. But the bottom of that I write down.

[00:18:26] When I achieve this, I will feel and I insert an emotion. I will feel confident. I will feel like I crushed it. I will feel unstoppable. Whatever that word is for you. If you get in rush hour traffic at any part of your day, you give up control the moment you step on that highway. I control the car in front of you, the car to the left of you, behind you. You're just part of this whole ecosystem going down the road. That's what life is for so many people.

[00:18:56] But when you have goals in that car without goals, you're just simply in a pack of cars going wherever everybody else is going. But you've got to fight back and the way that you fight and take back the American dream and achieve your financial freedom and what you want for your life is remind yourself every day. What are you fighting for? If you don't show up to the fight, life's going to win. But if you show up to the fight, you can fight back and get out of life what it is that you want. Wow. Yeah. Another home run.

[00:19:24] We're hitting home runs like crazy today, Derek. Thank you for enlightening our audience. This is going fantastic so far. Right. How do we like, let's say we do have one of those big goals. You write it down on your card. Should we, should we only maybe target that big goal? Is there ways that you feel work to break it down into smaller steps? I like to coach people to break it down into what's the next step for that big goal. How do you approach those?

[00:19:44] What I would say to that is don't shy away from setting big goals, but I want to give you a secret hack that has been highly effective for people who may be listening. Let's say I'm, I'm hesitant to set a big goal because what if I fail? I've never set a big goal before. It feels insurmountable. It feels insurmountable. So what do you want to do is on that card, you've written out your best year ever. Now let's say that your goal is I want to pay off $10,000 of credit card debt.

[00:20:12] Well, that's a huge goal that feels insurmountable. How can I do that? But what you can do then is say, here's my big goal. And then you want to set sub goals to achieve that. So now you say $10,000 divided by four is $2,500 a quarter. Well, now my goal is, could I pay off $2,500 of debt between now and March 31st? Or could I pay off half of that in the next 90 days?

[00:20:39] So now we're chunking it down to very manageable steps because the big goal can feel like, oh, my gosh, how can I go from zero to 100? I just want you to go from zero to maybe 15. That's a lot more manageable. And then if you need to make adjustments, you can. But what I would tie that into would be, especially the first 90 days to build momentum. And I do this on a separate note card is write out my quarterly incentives. Whether that's a trip you want to take. I want to do something with a friend.

[00:21:09] I want to take my grandchild on an all day trip. Then you're working on daily steps and daily decisions. And this is where you can enroll your accountability person and say, look, let's meet every Friday. Do a phone call for five minutes. You tell me your goal. I'll tell you mine. And let's hold each other accountable. See, that's fun. It's easy. It's fun. Schedule it in your phone. Not I'll call you when I think of you. Nope. Schedule it like it's an appointment. That way it's locked in.

[00:21:36] And what happens is you're focused on it. Where you focus is where you find your freedom. And that's the key. I love the idea of scheduling it. My wife and I have a scheduled monthly budget meeting. And that helps us. That helps us figure out those goals. We have our financial plan that I can't update more than quarterly because previously I would just bombard her with all these ideas of like, let's do Bitcoin. Let's do this asset allocation. She was getting overwhelmed.

[00:22:02] So it goes to your point of write it down, put it somewhere where you can see it, or you can check in on it and set a cadence to keep up with it. Because if we don't set that cadence, or like you said, I'll call you when I, when I can either you're calling too much or you're not calling at all because you don't actually know how to handle it. So that's such a great way for people, both in their, I guess, just financial plans in general, but is there goal setting? That's a, that's a great way to get started. And a common thing you'll hear is goal setting.

[00:22:29] If you Google the goal setting, you're going to see smart goals, S M A R T. Do you think that's the best way to set goals? Is it a silver bullet or is it just a beginning framework? How do you work through setting goals? I tend to make it super personal and I'm all about what helps the person setting the goal achieve their goals. If it's the smart frame, we're great. If it's simply writing down, here's what I want. Here's how bad I'll feel if I miss it. And here's what I get. If I achieve the goal, that's great.

[00:22:57] The key is what we find is, and psychologists will tell us that typically you're about 80% more likely to achieve any goal. If you write it down, if you look at it on a regular basis, you're very high to possibly achieve that goal. They did this experiment a while back and said, write down a goal and then stick this goal inside a chest of drawers or a piece of furniture and don't look at it for a year. Even those people still achieved it like 25% of the time.

[00:23:25] So it was just the fact that they wrote it down and it went into their mind. I mean, God has been so good to give us this subconscious mind that we can put on the payroll. I want to encourage people to put their brain on the payroll this year. So many of us spend time thinking and overthinking and overcomplicating. Let's say you go to bed. You've got a worry on your mind and you're thinking about it and you wake up and you've got the solution. And you're like, well, how did that happen?

[00:23:52] Oftentimes it's your subconscious mind saying, thank you for giving me a job to do. How about you sleep? And I'll figure out the answer to this while you sleep and I'll give you the solution when you wake up. But one thing I would tell people is this. You might feel like as you're listening to this, a financial failure, a personal failure, that everything you seem to do doesn't turn to gold. It just turns to old and we don't want that for you. But the bottom line is so many success stories start today.

[00:24:22] Start where you are. We get one life. It doesn't matter what happens in the White House. It only happens what matters in your house and what happens there. It's your personal economy, not the general economy. The goal is we want to make sure that you are living the life you want. Pick out a challenge goal. If there is an income goal you've got, for example, if you're working for someone and you've struggled to get that raise you deserve. Set an income goal. Ask yourself three questions.

[00:24:50] How can I increase sales? How can I reduce expenses? How can I increase productivity? Come up with a tangible way to do that and then take that to your boss and say, look, I like working here, but I'm not happy settling for what I'll probably get a 4% raise. Yeah.

[00:25:09] So if we can come to an agreement on if these three ideas work, let's pre-negotiate a raise because I'm going to help the company make more money, save more money, increase productivity, which will be far more than 4%. You put yourself in the pathway of more potential opportunity. Now, some of our listeners, let's say you're a teacher. You're in other occupations where you're simply not going to get a raise unless everybody else in the district or the city gets a raise.

[00:25:39] You could be the world's best teacher, but you're not getting more money unless everybody else does. That's just how the system works. So then you have to ask yourself, can you launch a side hustle? And the easy way to do that is what do people typically ask for your help with? Do they ask for your help to design the website, plan the trip, book the vacation, organize the closet, proofread the paper? Do you have a special way that you're able to get students engaged that other teachers always ask you about?

[00:26:08] Well, suddenly now you can develop that into a course and you can make money doing that. So what I would tell people listening is I don't want you to settle for anything. You don't have to settle that because I'm in this job, I can't make more money. Well, you're choosing that. I'm going to tell you straight up and you may not like me for saying this, but you're choosing that you can choose a different path. And to do that will require change to the best.

[00:26:33] Have changes to set goals and accountability people to help you achieve that change. And then you'll crush your goals. That's great, Derek. Thank you so much. I like the side hustle tip in there, finding something that people ask for your help with or finding something that you have a special way of doing things. Maybe your job is something where it's set in its pay, but also maybe it's set in its hours that are advantageous for you. Maybe you work a job where you do normally have Thursdays and Fridays where you can leave a little early. Maybe that's your time to get more income going.

[00:27:01] How do you set goals in your finances? Does it follow the same framework? Are we writing it all down or is there a different approach you take for finances? Well, I may be a little bit odd when I say this, but if given the choice, if I had a thousand dollars and I could either buy the new computer or I could invest the thousand dollars to make more money, I would always invest the thousand dollars. For me, the game I like to play is how can I make more money so that while I'm making more money, my money is making me more money.

[00:27:32] That's the part that I love. And then tying that in with what's a cause that I care about. I mentioned this early on about local education and supporting young people. One of the things that I love to do is to give. One of my motivations is I like to make money. Making money is fun because it gives you tools to impact your life and other people's lives. In my local area, I love to give back to young people and invest in them and teach them money skills and life skills and business skills.

[00:27:58] And so by doing that and giving to organizations that support that, it drives me to go make more money to do more good, just like I talked about in my book right here. And what I find then is by setting goals, I'm heavy on the financial goals. I'm heavy on how much I'm going to save this year. How much do I want to be paid this year? What is my net worth goal for the year? I'll track my net worth goal four times a year.

[00:28:25] I like to call my net worth the report card for adults because it doesn't lie. It only tells you the truth of where you're at right now and where you want to go. Using money is not a negative tool. And also the fact that I don't believe that money is bad. Money is good because of all the good that you can do with it for others and for yourself. I know a lot of people maybe have hesitancy. They're like, oh, I'm not someone who has a hundred thousand dollar net worth. I've never seen that kind of number in my life. So they can have a hard time going for it.

[00:28:55] I like the picture it paints right there of money is a good tool. It's a positive tool that you can use as you set goals for that. I also think to your point about net worth being a report card and to tie that into your subconscious mind, helping you out as you put it on the payroll. Net worth can be a huge thing that as you start tracking it, your mind and your money just starts magically working for you better. Have you ever seen that happen in your life where you start to look at your net worth and then suddenly it's like going up more than you imagined? Funny story. So this was 2008.

[00:29:24] I had my financial planning practice and I had the opportunity to buy another firm and this firm was going to double the size of our business. Now back in 2008, 2009 was on the verge of the economic collapse that we were going through. And two things occurred. One thing is I routinely invested and there were a couple of stocks and investments that I would keep adding money to. So every single week the market was dropping. I believed in these stocks, kept buying.

[00:29:52] So every week I was buying more shares, but I was questioning myself, other people. Why, Derek, why do you keep investing? My belief was that these companies will come back. And so what happened is it was like putting seeds in the ground. It was winter and fall. But one day, March 9th of 2010, I believe, is when the sun came shining out, Skylar. That's when the economy turned. Suddenly all that stock I'd bought for such a low price began to grow.

[00:30:21] That quarter when I did my net worth, I was like, how did this happen? What I found was there were three levers. I call them the good money levers that led that. First of all, was how I saved my money wasn't just in the checking and saving account. It was earning more money. So my money was actually earning money for me. Then my investments were growing dramatically. Plus I had made more money. And a couple of ways I'd done that, I call it capture and keep.

[00:30:46] And that is calling my service providers, people who provide me what I like to call common services. So cell phone, you know, cable services, homeowners insurance, automobile insurance. And saying, look, I'm considering changing. Would you consider giving me a discount to keep me as a customer? And what I did is I would, instead of taking those savings and spending them, I captured them and kept them by automatically redirecting that to my home mortgage

[00:31:14] and also paying the note off on the business even quicker. So it was a way to capture the money, keep it. And so there were three different ways money was working for me. All the while I'm out there growing the business, even in tough economic times. And so what I would tell you is all that you can control is you. Someone taught me a long time ago, there's the three bucket theory. You know, what you can control in life, what you can't control in life, and what you can neither control nor influence in life.

[00:31:42] And most of life falls into the bucket of what you can neither control nor influence. You just have to go out there and stay focused on your goals. As long as you've got the right mindset of helping people, helping other people make more money, helping other people save more money, helping other people improve their lives, grow their business, then you will also make money. Where value goes is where money flows. Fantastic. What do you do when you fail a goal?

[00:32:08] So let's say you just set some goals for new years, or maybe these were just middle of the year, you had a new goal come up. Speaking from your experience, if you, maybe you've never failed a goal, but I doubt it. Oh, I have. I need an experience. What do you do? What do you do when the fail stamp needs to be put on this one? How do you recover? It depends on how failure is defined. For example, if I believe in the goal and it's a goal that I want to achieve, then is it fair to question the goal itself?

[00:32:37] Or should I question the tactics by which I'm attempting to achieve the goal? For example, this year I get a lot of speaking requests. I've set a goal of here's the number of speaking requests I will do. And then it doesn't overwhelm my family and other things that I like to do. By working on that goal, if for some reason the number of speaking requests that I want is not happening, then I have to examine, well, maybe I just shouldn't speak as much.

[00:33:03] I want to speak because when I speak, I'm helping people improve their lives and make more money. So the question is, what can I do then to get the word out better? What can I do to be more strategic and deliberate about it? Just because you're not achieving success as fast as you want doesn't mean, well, I guess maybe I need to lose less weight. Maybe I need to pay off less debt. Maybe, but I don't think that's where you should start.

[00:33:30] I would start with what can I do in my control or even ask other people who are successful in those areas over a cup of coffee. Maybe, hey, I want your advice. I'm really struggling with this. What are my blind spots here? Would you help me with this? And let them tell you what you can't see because they're already where you want to be. Yeah, that's the power of all these different podcasts and books.

[00:33:56] You and I have gone through experiences where we're talking about these things and then someone hasn't gone through that yet and is able to click with them what we've taught here today. This has been fantastic, Derek. What a great interview helping people set goals. Maybe it wasn't a huge money focused conversation, but everything has to do with money. Money touches every aspect of our life. So someone's going to come out of this setting a goal to lose weight like you have been mentioning or they're going to come out of this and set a goal to pay off debt. This has been fantastic. And I know this episode is going to help a lot of people with goal setting.

[00:34:25] I do have two final questions to help us wrap up. One of them is going to be how people can connect with you. But the last one to get your mind thinking is what's one thing about goal setting that you'd go back in time and tell your 20 year old self. But before that one, where can people find you online? We have a free resource that is super helpful for people who want to make more money. They can go to get the raise you want dot com. Get the raise you want dot com. That's the first resource and easy way to reach us.

[00:34:52] Also on Instagram is a great way to keep in touch with us at Derek T. Kenny. But on the second question, what would I go back and tell my 20 year old self? You're just getting started. Don't don't hold yourself to such a high standard in terms of where I'm at right now defines my future. I wish more adults around me would have told me that what I was told was go to college. If you don't go to college, you're on your own.

[00:35:18] But what I would tell people now is go on the path that you want to go on. Determine what your goals are. Focus on what you're good at and not as much energy on what you suck at, because you're going to achieve success a whole lot quicker if you do that. I like that. Don't put as much energy in on what you suck at. That's a great place to leave this. Just put it aside and focus on what you're good at. Yeah, Derek. This has been a fantastic interview. Thank you so much for joining and for imparting your goal setting knowledge. My pleasure, Skylar. Thanks for having me.

[00:35:56] Thank you so much to Derek for coming on today's episode. Wasn't that a fantastic interview? I know I took a lot out of it. Honestly, there were several moments where I kind of just caught myself just listening to Derek talk because he was sharing so much great advice. So what did you take away from it? Let's talk real quick about the money talking points so that you can maybe have a conversation with yourself or with a friend or with a fellow money buddy of some of these main things that you can think about when it comes to setting goals that you'll actually keep. The first money talking point is, what does your ideal year look like? Well, what does yours look like? Shoot me an email.

[00:36:26] I'd love to hear from any of you listening what you'd like to do this year and maybe I can help you out. Maybe I can connect you with someone who can help you figure out how to build a plan around that. But I really like the exercise that Derek suggested of planning out your ideal year. I went ahead and tried it myself. It makes it a whole lot easier to figure out what goals you want to set. This exercise will allow you to identify the direction that you want to head in with your life and then you can work on setting up some stepping stone type goals to help you get there. So what does your ideal look like?

[00:36:53] Like I said, send me an email if there was some major breakthrough you had while listening to this interview or working through this exercise because I think this one can help a lot of people out. And also one thing that I think works well with this money talking point is the idea to take a month to figure out your goals. Use that month to figure out what you really want to do. Figure out during that month what really brought you some happiness. Use it as a time to identify your rewards that you want to set up for yourself. Are there a few things that you really like to do that you could use to push yourself towards your goals?

[00:37:21] I know for my wife and I we love getting ice cream or we love sweet treats things like that. Of course we do, but those are a great reward for us as we push towards our goal because if we say we cannot get ice cream until we reach X goal, we're going to reach X goal because we really love ice cream. What can you use as a reward to help you stay focused on your goals? Take a month and figure that out. Figure out what you want to do and figure out what rewards you can use over this next month. And then set your new year's resolutions in March because frankly it doesn't matter when you set new year's resolutions.

[00:37:51] What does your ideal year look like? Let me know down in the comments on Spotify or shoot me an email. But the second money talking point is what is a goal you want and what pain would it cause not to achieve it? Well, a goal that I am working hard towards is becoming a CFP and the pain it would cause me not to achieve it would be very high. I'd be very sad and disappointed in myself since I'm working so hard to become a CFP. And this is another great exercise for any of you to work through.

[00:38:14] You can take that same card that you're starting to write on about your ideal year and then identify some of the pain points that that ideal year would bring about if you weren't to reach those targets. But one more thing that I do think is important here is to not shame yourself or be too hard on yourself. Because sure you can get in a really depressed state of mind if you start thinking about the pain that not achieving the goal is going to cause because then maybe you're like, oh, I've never achieved any of my other goals. This sucks. I'm the worst.

[00:38:39] Don't be too hard on yourself. Use it as an exercise to begin to think about the future that you want and then use that little bit of pain to help motivate you towards the goal. Don't start thinking too much about the past because frankly, it's already happened and it doesn't matter. It can be important to identify the pain points, but you don't want to put so much pressure on yourself that it's debilitating if you do come up short. So be careful that your goal isn't too massive and that your pain points aren't too insane. The third Monday talking point here is what goals do you need to reset? This can be a huge mindset shift.

[00:39:08] Give yourself permission to reset a goal and restart it or retry it. It can be a huge real change in your mindset. It can take that huge burden off yourself and maybe it's a goal you're trying so hard to reach, but you've become numb to the pain that not reaching it means and you aren't really getting any satisfaction out of the goal. That's a chance to take a break. My wife and I have done this before with things that we're regularly trying to do and we're like, wow, we've just kind of gotten a rut.

[00:39:32] Let's take a break and come back to this goal and it usually helps us come back to it with more fire and passion and we'll work harder towards those goals. This can be a chance to reset the goal by reconfiguring the rewards that you get for achieving the goal. That's the one thing that Derek touched on in the interview is to make sure we're giving ourselves a chance to reward ourself and enjoy the hard work we put in. I also like Derek's point of saying screw it to the typical New Year's resolutions and feeling like you're doomed for another bad year if you don't stick out your resolutions. Like most people, you've probably quit it by the end of January.

[00:40:02] And this episode, like I said in the intro, is coming out on January 30th. And guess what? The vast majority of you listening has stopped any sort of goals that you've already set for the new year and that's okay. This episode is meant to be able to figure out your way to reset your goals going forward. You can use this as a chance to break the stereotypical mold of New Year's resolutions and set some goals for yourself. So look back on January, figure out this last month what goals do you really want to work towards,

[00:40:26] and make February 1st your New Year's resolution day or March 1st in a month after you figure out what goals and rewards you want to use. Take a month and figure it out or get going today because you've had the last month to figure it out. Maybe your New Year's resolution isn't what you really want and you've spent the last month realizing that. It's okay to quit that goal. Move on, find something else you want to do, and forget about the whole New Year's resolution idea because frankly it fails so many people to have this framework

[00:40:53] that we're required to start up and reboot our new year every January 1st. Well, I hope each and every one of you enjoyed today's interview and enjoyed those money talking points. The podcast is continuing to grow and we're seeing some good listenership and it's because of each of you listening. So if you stuck it out to the end, thank you so much. I would really love to hear from any one of you listening. I would love to connect and just chat. Just send me an email saying, hey, I listened to your episode about setting goals. Thank you for putting out anything you want to say. I would appreciate it.

[00:41:22] I really want to hear from somebody who is actually listening to my podcast. But I hope you enjoyed those money talking points and I hope you were able to take those, share them with a friend and have a good money talk today. But that does it for this episode. I hope you were able to figure out a better path for you going forward to help you figure out your goals and remember you don't spend time on the things you suck at. Just forget about them and work on the things you're good at. Focus on those and that's going to help you hit the goals that you set for yourself and just go for it. You got this. Remember to set rewards and pat yourself on the back for accomplishing the great things

[00:41:52] that you're setting out to do. One way to help stick to a goal is by identifying the pain point that you're going to feel if you don't hit it ahead of time. It can be a really useful tool to get your mind going in the right direction by helping it figure out what it wants to avoid. And if you're stuck or unable to move forward, try a goal reset. Restart it up. Reset your goal. It's going to help you with that mindset shift to take a step back and then build some momentum and get going again. I really enjoyed this interview and I hope every one of you enjoyed it as well.

[00:42:19] I bet you were able to take away some good information from it for sure. And thanks again to Derek for coming on this episode and check out his information in the show notes. Thank you for listening to today's episode. The best way to stay up to date and connected with all things Money Talk is to sign up for my email list. Head over to moneytalkwithscullerfirming.com and submit your name and email right there on the homepage. You can also use the contact page on my website to send me any questions. And if you're looking to get started with budgeting, I've partnered with My Budget Coach, a platform that helps your budget connect directly with a financial coach.

[00:42:49] I'd love to work with you over there and help you with your budgeting. The link, of course, is in the show notes. Remember, the best way to learn from today's episode is to go and have a Money Talk about today's topic. But thank you for listening to this week's episode of Money Talk. I'm your host, Skylar Fleming. Have a great week. Thank you for listening to Money Talk with Skylar Fleming. This show is provided for informational and entertainment purposes and may not be specific to your unique situation. Please be sure to do additional research before making any financial decisions.