Win Your Financial Tug of War with Connor Tyson - 134

[00:00:00] What is the financial tug of war we're all waging with ourselves? Let's talk about it today with guest Connor Tyson. Welcome to Money Talk with Skyler Fleming, where we all do better with money by talking about it. Let's get talking.

[00:00:13] In today's episode, we delve into an awesome topic of the Financial Tug of War that many of us find ourselves in, our guest Connor Tyson shares his insights and experiences detailing how this tug of war can impact our lives and our financial health.

[00:00:25] We explore the importance of asking ourselves hard-hitting questions to gain a better understanding of our financial struggles, and we're also going to discuss the role that our behaviors and habits play in our decisions. And how making necessary changes can significantly improve our financial situation.

[00:00:39] Here's some key highlights for my conversation today with Connor. You're going to absolutely notice the impact of time and the impact that stalling has on our financial health, and also be aware of the role of self-awareness and introspection in understanding our financial struggles.

[00:00:53] It's really important to gain perspective, and there's a great concept we talk about today called the smart thought process, and it really is going to help you out with purchases. And we'll talk about it more after the interview.

[00:01:03] But the importance on changing our money habits, how practicing new habits, can feel like brushing your teeth with your offhand. You're going to find that it's awkward at first, but with practice, you become perfect at it.

[00:01:13] So we're going to talk about a couple things with changing our money habits and the benefits of automating your finances. And everyone who's listened to this for any amount of time knows that I love automation, and automating our finances is awesome.

[00:01:25] Also again, accountability partners come up in today's conversation as well as reducing shame and guilt and improving our financial behaviors. The money talking points for today's episode are what questions do you need to answer at your financial situation?

[00:01:38] And two, what behaviors are playing a role in your financial tug-or-or-and-three? Who can be your accountability partner? With the money talking points in mind, let's get right into today's episode. Hello everybody, welcome to today's interview on Money Talk with Scott Fleming, joining me today.

[00:02:03] I have Connor Tyson, who is a financial coach and I'm excited to talk about the tug-or-war of finances and a couple different things with him today, but Connor, would you go ahead and introduce yourself for everyone? Yeah, my name is Connor Tyson.

[00:02:13] Thanks for having me on Skyler, personal financial wellness coach. This is after being a financial advisor for 23 years and I live up in Westchester, New York, married two kids and happy to be here today. Awesome.

[00:02:28] It's a fun conversation, like you just said, you came from a financial advisor background and now you're helping people as a financial coach. Yeah. You really, really span the gamut there. You've talked about money and all sorts of different commitments. Yes, yes. Awesome.

[00:02:41] Let's start off with the term that I saw on your profile that really caught my eye and that's the tug-or-war finances. What is that that people have with their money? Well, this stuff is not too unschools, you know what I mean? And life comes out yet pretty fast.

[00:02:55] And you form habits and behaviors from a pretty early age on how you operate with money, right? And it's like trying to build a car driving down the highway. So you graduate college by then you already have some old habits and then move out

[00:03:09] and get your first job, your apartment, you engage, you get married, two kids, right? You look up and it's like, wow, I got two credit cards, two car bills, the oil bill and you're trying to figure it out. It's somewhat overwhelming. You don't want to make a mistake.

[00:03:24] You're intimidated about sitting down professional sometimes because you're like, well, I'm not at that level yet and you know it's important. It's on the radar but all these other things are kind of calling your attention in life. And that's the internal tug-or-war.

[00:03:41] You know you need to do something about you on a where-to-turn, you're intimidated, you're like, I should be able to figure this stuff out. But you have habits and behaviors that are kind of blocking it. That makes complete sense.

[00:03:52] Like you said the tug-or-war, it's almost in our mind of, oh, I should be working on my money situation but it's like, oh, there's so much else I also need to be worried about. Yeah. So how do you, how does this get in the way?

[00:04:03] I mean, it's kind of self-explanatory. You can hear it a little bit as you say the example, but how does this get in people's way when it comes to their money? Well, it's time, right?

[00:04:13] So as things unfold in your life, the biggest resource you're losing is time to catch up. And most people kind of wake up in their mid-thirty sometimes. And by that time, you're already almost a statistic.

[00:04:26] Like you have student loan debt, you have credit cards, you now you have a mortgage, two kids child care and you're like, oh, and then you start fighting. And you might have a significant other in your life.

[00:04:39] And you know, this is causing too much stress in effects all the other areas of your life. Right? The effects, your health, why, sleep, stress, socially. And that's how it really affects what's going on.

[00:04:52] And it's really about having to hear, it's not what you need to do so much. Most people know what to do. It's funny. It's like, spend less than I make, save, avoid debt. We know this on a gut level.

[00:05:07] We know this, but something along that journey, something's blocking us from getting what we really want. Yeah, that's an interesting point to make. And I kind of want to just talk real briefly about time.

[00:05:18] Like why is that so important that this tug of war is delaying what you're doing with your money? How does that impact people? Well, all the other things kind of call your attention, right? So what is money? Right?

[00:05:30] I understand at a high level it's currency, it's PR currency and a store of capital and blah, blah, blah. But really, what does it represent? Right? And when you get really down to it, it's really time and labor work. Right?

[00:05:43] So like I mow your lawn and it takes me two hours. You gave me a hundred bucks. That hundred bucks represents two hours of my time and sweat off my breath. Where those two hours you gave me, you gave me the hundred hours.

[00:05:54] You can do whatever you want to do. You can spend it with your family. You can go learn a new hobby. Right? So if you don't save, you are constantly trying to work, labor and time.

[00:06:09] So when you store that away, it just means that money is working for you versus you working for money. And the less time you have to do that, sooner or later the pipe pipe has to be paid. So that's why that's why it's a big situation.

[00:06:24] Yeah, you say money is time and labor and it's almost the absence. I guess having money further down the road is the opportunity to not have to trade it for time and labor and things like that. You can use freedom and choice.

[00:06:35] Yeah, which is why time is so important, whether it's investing, whether it's just simply having your own time, like you're on time right now to be able to enjoy instead of having to go out and work. I really like that idea.

[00:06:48] What questions can people ask themselves to gain perspective on their financial struggles? This is an introspection, right? So clarity is the first step that I take everybody through.

[00:06:58] You got to refocus and really get your why and the questions you can ask yourself is what does it prevent me from doing? What does it prevent me from feeling? How long have I felt like this? Who else has dependent upon change?

[00:07:13] I mean changing these habits in my life. And once you really get into it, you get to your why. What's your principles and values of what you really want to accomplish? And money is just a vehicle to get you there.

[00:07:25] There's many ways to get there, but money is just a vehicle to get you there. Right? So those introspection questions of like, okay, how is this serving me? And once you really, like a lot of people today are impulse buyers, right? The impulse purchases. Mm-hmm. And instant gratification.

[00:07:45] And one of the acronyms I use is called smart. If you just ask yourself these five questions, you become way more aware consumer. About your own behaviors and so on and so, so smart stands for self-aware.

[00:08:00] Is what I'm about to buy going to enrich my life in some way shape or give me where I want to go? Is this actually going to provide value to my life? And is motive? What is my motive for buying this? Right?

[00:08:12] Is it I'm sad, I'm happy, I'm angry at this spouse or I'm looking for prestige or feeling some sort of void in my life. Am I just bored? Right? Um, a is affordability. Was this actually in my budget to be worth? Is it affordable?

[00:08:32] Was I proactive and new I was going to purchase this? Let's see what else you have. Ah, research. Have I done my research? Is this the right vendors? Is this the right price? Is there anything more affordable? Any alternatives I can come up with? T is opportunity cost.

[00:08:51] Time. Right? Where it's, is this the right time to buy this? Like if I purchase this TV for $800 that means I might not be able to afford the plain tickets to Florida or that family vacation.

[00:09:07] If you just ask those five simple questions, you pause, stop thinking and become more aware of why you're doing what you're doing. And become more aware proactive consumer of things. Yeah, I like those five points. I think those are great for anyone to ask themselves.

[00:09:24] Maybe let's dive into them each just a little bit here because I think they can offer some good thought for the listeners. But the one or you said to yourself aware, like, is that more around like why am I purchasing this?

[00:09:37] Why why, why, or is that more motive? How does self-aware and motive like this? My awareness is really with the clarity of what you ultimately want, right? Your orientation of what does success look like, right?

[00:09:47] And is this thing that I'm buying and enriching my life and those around me in some way shape or form? Like, you see the candles in my backyard in my background. Those didn't really enrich my life, right?

[00:09:58] It was kind of like a impulse purchase really or it's probably a gift from somebody. But the things that I buy, I want to be able to, like, is it, why principles of being service of others and family?

[00:10:10] Right? Are the things that I'm buying, getting me closer to what I ultimately want? Am I leaving out my principles and values or is this just a thing to buy? You feel something void of whatever it is like I did a lot of that during COVID, right? Yeah.

[00:10:27] On Amazon scroll and the guy I need this, I need that and you know, and it was like, is this really helping me become the person I want to be? Show up as well. Yeah.

[00:10:37] I like the extra layer that of is this helping me get where I want to go and that's almost the, is money at tool for me or is it just something I'm just blowing through, trading time for money and then just needing to keep working because of that.

[00:10:49] So awesome. And then affordability, I think is a huge one because I think people often like you mentioned budgets to be word right? People often forget like hey, I maybe don't have enough money if I spend my money on this thing.

[00:11:01] How can people be more aware of affordability? Let's say they're, they are the budget is a be word to them and they're a little bit afraid of it. How does affordability actually help them?

[00:11:10] So you want to be proactive versus reactive right instead of telling money where to go versus wondering where it went and plan out the month ahead like just take out a calendar and say what's going on in the month of June right now it's May right and say okay get ahead of it and say okay I have a college graduation.

[00:11:27] I have family birth there, I have whatever it is and am I actually putting the money in my budget money comes in money goes out.

[00:11:35] In my budget and am I being proactive and tell your money where to go so you have your needs right the basic needs shelter food all those things and then the watts. And prioritize those and make sure you have enough money in place before the month starts.

[00:11:53] Do you not playing catch up right and then you see where you stand you have more awareness of like you know what yeah I need to make one or more dollars to be able to do all the things I want to do next month more than I am.

[00:12:04] Yeah, and that helps you one if you do need to go work a little more and make a little more money you know you need to but also getting ahead of it is such a big deal.

[00:12:12] I like to call that kind of the very first early stage of financial independence is to be able to be a month ahead. And your expenses because if you're able to say oh we made this much money this month where can it go to next month?

[00:12:26] That's that's a big deal because then you have so much flexibility and like you said opportunities and things like that.

[00:12:33] Yeah, I mean think about otherwise where are you going to just swipe the car I haven't right it's the integration I want this now swipe the card and you're playing catch up constantly. And your paying someone else for the decisions you didn't make.

[00:12:46] Yeah, everyone listening uses is your chance to get one month ahead I think that's a great place to get to and then you can begin to expand on all these other questions and align your your goals and everything with that so awesome.

[00:12:59] Let's talk a little bit more about like your life a little bit and how you've improved your situation over time and how people can improve theirs what's something that you've done in your life that people can use to improve their situation.

[00:13:11] Well first of all I had become aware where I stood right and find it unacceptable right so it was a I was a breaking point where I looked down I had like 90 almost a 90 thousand that. I just doing a loan credit cards auto loan.

[00:13:24] I had right and I was like oh my god this is crazy I was young I was 24 years old 23 years old and I realized it wasn't about knowledge because I had all the knowledge in the world I had a degree in finance I was a financial advisor and all these things.

[00:13:39] I was like wow it's really habits and behaviors and how is this serving it's not I felt like a fraud inside.

[00:13:46] I was like I don't know what it was this all about so I had to start saying no to the things I had to say no to and yes to the things I had to say yes to with clarity and unapologetically to those around me.

[00:13:57] And it was they actually found that they started encouraging me in my own journey it was awkward in the first because I had some guilt shame remorse around it but once I got clear on what I really wanted.

[00:14:09] I was able to articulate that that no matter where it was unapologetic and I started having to do those habits and those behaviors that got in line with what I really wanted. It took a while it wasn't easy but once I started doing it.

[00:14:25] I started getting ahead and then yeah tell them that money where it covers is wondering where it went started saving paying off that within 18 to 21 I was 100% that free and I've been that free sense so.

[00:14:37] It gives you the flexibility and choice freedom to do what you want to do when you want to do it.

[00:14:43] That's fantastic and I think one thing I heard there is your your often not going to end up in the financial situation you're in overnight I mean maybe it's one very big auto loan and it was overnight but.

[00:14:54] You're also not going to get out of it overnight so almost give yourself a little bit of I guess like grace and ability to work through it because it is going to take some change like you mentioned it's all behaviors and habits and was it hard for you to.

[00:15:08] Yeah, I use the analogy of brushing your you know brushing your teeth you're non dominant hand right I'm a lady brushing my teeth in my left hand is awkward.

[00:15:18] I want to go back to the right hand all the time because it's what I've done all the time I'm comfortable with it I know right. Give yourself permission to fail the beginning because you haven't done this.

[00:15:29] Yeah and it's going to be right but you stick with it long enough and also it becomes a habit and behavior and second nature over to you need to become financially.

[00:15:39] And the districts I don't know how to say the word so ignore that one if I said it wrong but you need to be able to use both hands financially that's it I love that new that's a new way of looking at it for me so that's awesome.

[00:15:50] You mentioned friends encouraging you once you started to be real with them be honest with them and let's jump to accountability partners for a moment here. How is that helpful for someone to be on your side when you're trying to make.

[00:16:02] I do that's why I became a financial coach because I realized it wasn't like telling people what to do is more of the lion how and then. My job my journey became a lot easier with accountability and thought of this one of the big missing ingredients.

[00:16:18] That anything that's really important to you you can share with clarity with other people how important is to them.

[00:16:24] Do you they got on board with that mission with you and then all of a sudden you're held accountable like did you actually do those things did you do you do your budget did you actually review your expenses did you track where things are going.

[00:16:36] The power focus and encouragement and celebrating success when you hit a milestone you should celebrate that.

[00:16:43] And that's one of the biggest things that I found and a lot of people are missing it by accountability and follow through being held accountable to yourself is very difficult because you talk to yourself in your own voice and you believe it.

[00:16:59] Yeah, there's something I heard I want to say was on a book that like were they were the person we lie to the most and that's why we need to get other people involved because we'll easily lie to ourselves will change the.

[00:17:09] Well, change the question and be like, oh well, I kind of did it in this way but when someone who's keeping you accountable to a written goal, especially I love the idea of writing things down.

[00:17:18] But if you're friend of saying, hey, here's here's our list of things that you said you were going to do this month to help with your money situation, let's go through him how did this go how did this go.

[00:17:28] That's that's real like that's hard if you didn't accomplish it, but it's also an opportunity to.

[00:17:33] To grow and be accountable so I love that conversation, but why is why is behavior so important like why do we why do we have to get past the realization that it's not just like the math.

[00:17:44] Isn't working out, but it's because your behaviors and habits aren't in the right place. Why is it so important? It's not a math problem, right? So it's not a math problem.

[00:17:53] It's basically the habits and behaviors that you might not even be realized real have realization up because you've done it so often.

[00:18:02] That is just second nature to you think it's the right way the perspective is it has to be right this the way I've done it, but when you change those habits. First you have to start with awareness right that how is this serving me.

[00:18:17] And then what is it that I can do differently the power of focus is a big one intentionality being proactive planning, pausing all those things are behaviors as nothing to do with math and getting the accountability and support you need the tools and resources you need knowledge.

[00:18:40] And those those habits take time to form it's not one either 90 days I think it is. Right and you have to understand the nature of habits being like how are habits formed right so you have a trigger the routine.

[00:18:56] Then the reward and you keep going over and over again the power of focus is big to in the beginning it was like I had all these things I wanted to accomplish I had to prioritize those things.

[00:19:06] And then the power of focus I can't do all of them at once let me focus on one thing one thing so if I wanted to go to the gym what's the one thing I get it lay out my clothes the night before.

[00:19:16] It's small that just like in doing right and then it sets me up for success throughout that whole process.

[00:19:25] Yeah, Lena you're closed the night before as equivalent to planning one month ahead it's equivalent to saying hey here's the there's four weekends in the month of June or however many in your stay here's the three I've got.

[00:19:35] Here's what they're going to cost and and that's laying your clothes up beforehand so I think that relation is good when we related to other habits that we're trying to do.

[00:19:45] It helps make it a little bit more digestible yeah because like you said I love to tell people that there's more to just money more than just math to money because if it was just math we haven't all calculated like there's computers to do that we'd have it all figured out it money would be easy if it was only math but.

[00:20:01] There's so much more to it that we have to consider and sometimes you can take the behavior out of it and automate it by pay yourself first that's a big big habit that people want.

[00:20:11] But they don't have the discipline in place and I don't blame them it's tough to do but you can automate those things. So right when I get paid a hundred dollars goes to my emergency fund.

[00:20:20] I'll 150 dollars above and beyond whatever my spending is going to go to pay down my debt and any money left over at the month if I understand it's going to go to a month that you automate.

[00:20:29] Take that this self discipline out of your hands that's another way to get around it.

[00:20:34] Yeah, and I live automation in every aspect of my life so I want to ask you a little bit more about it since it came up but like how how you mentioned it can be the thing that gets people over that behavior hurdle.

[00:20:45] It's also something that I think that can seem intimidating because you're like, oh I'm letting the robot control my life I guess like that could be a concern like you're letting the system run your life but why is it so.

[00:20:55] beneficial to to have that automatic savings to have money automatically going to your retirement things like that. Yeah, it's kind of like the 401k right you automatically you don't even feel that money coming out of your paycheck.

[00:21:07] But that amount hits your check check book, but they already took out $200 for your 401k every pay cycle and then when you look down on time you're kind of astonishing well I got. $118,000 a half that happened. Yeah, it's a register count.

[00:21:21] Yeah, it just happened over time and without you playing with it you can review it obviously checking with your money make sure it's doing what you told it to do but. That's the power of automation like it happens automatically time goes by very, very fast.

[00:21:36] Yeah, we're a bit adds up and it grows compound interest all that sort of stuff the the book automatic millionaire I believe talks about how when you start that 401k automation at 1% and then slowly grow it your lifestyle is going to be fine like you're going to like you said you're not going to feel the money coming out.

[00:21:53] Just going to see what you're getting paid and you're going to be okay with it but if you were to try to take say $2,300 when you receive the paycheck and then put it into like an IRA that's a whole lot trickier like it.

[00:22:05] It's the same amount of money it shouldn't be right if it's just math but it's so much harder to say I'm going to take. $400 and put it in this account that's locked away for however many years.

[00:22:16] Yeah, we just went through tax season right the government knows this behavior and that's why they take their taxes out.

[00:22:21] Yeah, yeah, that's a perfect example like the government wants us to do this sort of thing because they know our behavior is going to struggle to pay it I can imagine like how many more people, especially nowadays like with financial struggles and things like that would be in like tax debt and things like that if it wasn't automated that'd be crazy.

[00:22:40] Awesome well that that was a fantastic conversation I love that let's talk a little bit about talking about money so you talked about it with your friends that helped them become accountability partners in a sense.

[00:22:50] You were able to celebrate with them how is talking about money going to help people improve their financial behaviors.

[00:22:56] It reduces the shame guilt remorse around it right this is like this taboo thing right and what I found when talking to my friends about they're like that's really good.

[00:23:03] I want that for myself they were thirsty for knowledge on how to do it also and once you started talking about it openly like yeah, that's not my budget and I like I can't afford it I always put the word yet.

[00:23:15] In that sense right because that's mindset, but people want to win with money and it's easier to do it together and hold each other accountable and talk about your goals and dreams and your short falls and like yeah I failed right or what can I do better next time and then on a sudden you get a cult of people that are like you know what yeah let's do this together I love this.

[00:23:39] And you start celebrating successes together and the mean more to which is the point we're doing well. Yeah, and you have gratitude for and you're happy for other people winning.

[00:23:50] There's a lot of shame, listen everybody's done stupid with money right everybody's done everybody's done it and there's no it's not your fault like if you think about it it's not taught in schools.

[00:24:04] You're not supposed to figure this out especially if you didn't have positive role models growing up figure you know the teach you the basics of what money is what you can do with it how does it compound. And how things work.

[00:24:16] Of course you're not going to figure it out right so it's hard it's real hard right and. Once you start looking up to people that actually have been waiting with money and asking them. What'd you do how'd you do it? You're not going to have to do it.

[00:24:33] But I think that's a good idea. I mean, you know what I mean? And I think that's a good idea. And then I think that's a good idea. And then I think that's a good idea.

[00:24:47] So you're going to be happy to share with you what they exactly did right and people love to talk about their successes about themselves and it's like listen let me ask you.

[00:24:53] And then I think that's the best way to talk about this to break the ice by talking about someone else's financial situation because like if you're buried and credit card debt that can be a hard thing to.

[00:25:03] Push through a conversation because you're embarrassed maybe you're worried that they're going to you're going to be judged and things like that. Yeah, so do you think it's beneficial for people to maybe.

[00:25:11] I don't want to say make up of financial situation but maybe take someone else is that you see online just to break the ice.

[00:25:17] That's the flexion but yeah, it break the ice of what is and then when you're comfortable enough you can say you know in relation to that this is my situation.

[00:25:26] Yeah, right I like the one of taking something you see online and say hey, what do you think of this and then you can immediately jump into okay we're through the uncomfortable part now can you actually help me so.

[00:25:37] Yeah, I used one not too long ago, so some imaginary like the average car pay me I stayed now is like over 600 hours.

[00:25:45] Right and you can say that that's kind of crazy but when the guy would give them their own point of what that is and then you can say you know it in relation to that my car payment is. Yeah, five on your box or whatever it is.

[00:25:59] You know what strategies would you use to overcome this challenge and my life right I got it. They were supplied the same advice was just most people think. People think about them more than they think about themselves. Yes, right, it's not true.

[00:26:15] Right, it's your situations your it's your pile of mass. That's the fact that me and if you're looking at clean that mess up and you're asking me advice for it. Perfect. I hope you know. Yeah, absolutely.

[00:26:27] So it's going to be my bag fantastic. So yeah, realize that people want to help just start talking about it people are going to help you out so.

[00:26:34] Kind of this has been a great conversation a couple things to wrap up here first I'll have you share how people can find young line and stuff like that and then I have a final question after that that I ask everybody is what's one thing you wish you new sooner when it comes to money so.

[00:26:46] Let's start off with how people can find you. Yeah, I do my website is progress I want to make progress FC dot com so it's progress FC FC stands for financial code. So progress FC dot com. My Instagram, Connor financial coach, Connor the financial coach.

[00:27:04] I can follow me there got some stuff on there. Awesome. Yeah. Great. I'll make sure to link here in the show notes at the awesome thing about podcasts so to wrap up here what's something you wish you would have known sooner when it comes to money.

[00:27:17] Yeah, time and compounding of interest. If they taught this stuff in schools five six seven grade and they just put on the chalkboard 250 bucks a month, a 10% for 20 something years.

[00:27:31] I just did that every Wednesday sooner later that would sink in and you'd realize I can get money to work for me versus me working for money. And that would have been a big big game changer instead of waking up to that at 24 years old. Right.

[00:27:45] Or if every quarter or whatever you know. Yeah, times been mentioned many times like time and compounding. And Traces been mentioned many times of the answer to this question.

[00:27:54] And if kids at their first job could have like he said put a hundred 250 bucks away every week or every even every month like just anything. Every month when you would grow so much. Yeah, that's not something for the house car. You can breathe.

[00:28:08] Have a lot of different things. You be so far ahead. So start that early. Yep. Awesome. This has been a really fun conversation Connor. Thank you so much for joining. We learned a lot through this episode. I really appreciate it coming on. Thank you, Scott.

[00:28:20] Thank you for the opportunity and the platform to share. Thank you. Connor Tyson for coming on today's interview. Next I wanted to talk about the money talking points and kind of share my insights and thoughts around some of the things that we talked about today's interview.

[00:28:42] So the first money talking point is what questions do you need to answer about your financial situation? This can really be a whole lot of things. The questions you could ask yourself are, Am I in a financial situation that I want to be in?

[00:28:53] What kind of changes do you want to make in your financial situation? What kind of things do you need to change? All that sort of stuff. The questions that you need to answer about your financial situation are really the ones that are nagging at you.

[00:29:04] Is it, do I need to make a budget? Why do I keep finding myself at the end of the month with not enough money?

[00:29:09] And those sort of things can really get you thinking towards what kind of behaviors you need to change and help you kind of wrap your mind around the financial tug or that you're having with your own personal finances.

[00:29:20] The second money talking point is what behaviors are playing a role in your financial tug or is it? Impulse spending. Is it impulse saving? Are you saving too much money and that's leading you to not be able to spend the money that you want to enjoy?

[00:29:33] What kind of behaviors are playing a role in that tug in your mind? What kind of things do you start thinking about when you think about spending money? What kind of things do you start thinking about when you think about saving money?

[00:29:43] That's the tug or acting in your mind. And then the third money talking point is who can be your accountability partner? You have a friend that comes to mind and you know I'd love to be your accountability partner.

[00:29:53] I'm always happy to keep people accountable if you want to shoot me an email. I'm happy to help check in on you if you're trying to make some sort of financial progress,

[00:30:00] but identify someone who comes to your mind that could help you stay on track with your financial goals. But next I want to talk about the personal finance power up.

[00:30:07] In today's personal finance power up, I want to talk about how changing our money habits can have such an impact and really power up your personal finances.

[00:30:25] Here's a couple things from the conversation that Connor and I had that I think you could take and apply to your finances to really level them up.

[00:30:31] The idea of brushing your teeth with your offhand really stuck with me and the fact that changing your money habits is like that really struck a chord with me.

[00:30:39] It hits home perfectly and I think it implies really well that changing our financial behaviors can initially feel difficult or unnatural and it ultimately becomes easier with practice. Think about a financial habit that you have made change within your life.

[00:30:51] There's definitely something that you've done where you were like, oh I need my financial situation to be a little bit different. What can I do about it? Think about that and then use that as momentum and motivation towards other habits.

[00:31:02] So let's say you do budget and you didn't use to budget. That felt a little uncomfortable at first. I'm sure of that. Well just like brushing your teeth with your offhand so I'm right handed, brushing my teeth with my left hand can feel a little uncomfortable.

[00:31:14] But if I keep doing it, then it might even be easier to brush with my left hand than it is my right. And the same goes with financial habits that we're trying to instill.

[00:31:23] Another thing that I think is a big deal is giving yourself permission to fail at the beginning. And this is a reminder that it's okay to not be perfect when first implementing financial changes and new habits. The key is that continuous effort and practice brushing with the offhand.

[00:31:36] Third, automation helps you recover some of the initial behavior and habit concerns. It helps you automate things like savings or even maybe helps you automate things like spending. But it might not be a good thing that subscriptions are automated and things like that.

[00:31:49] Maybe there's a piece of your life that you need to enjoy a little bit more. So an automated subscription might be the thing that gets you to use that entertainment service or whatever it might be. But automation really comes into play a lot with savings.

[00:32:02] Can you reduce your reliance on willpower and make it easier to maintain positive financial habits? An idea that I heard from Connor is this idea of a trigger routine reward. It's a basic structure to help you recognize how you can automate things and I really like it.

[00:32:16] Is there a trigger that happens like a payday? And then there's an action that happens like saving money or routine as it was called. And the reward is allowing your money to sit and grow for a long time,

[00:32:27] Or maybe even you need to have some sort of reward tied to it that you can use to motivate yourself. So maybe that reward is a nice dinner out every six paychecks that you saved money, something like that.

[00:32:37] And automation can help make that even easier because as you identify that routine and the trigger and the reward, You can begin to automate it and figure out how you're going to do that automatically and remove that will power that you need to stay on top of that.

[00:32:50] And then another thing that you can use to power up your finances deliberate decision making. Make sure you say no once you know what you need to do. Make sure you say no I can't afford that yet. That's not in the budget right now. Things like that.

[00:33:02] You can do your deliberate decision making because you're intentional about what you want and this is crucial for your long term. How are up financial health? You can also get better out of it with practice. We started this section talking about practicing brushing teeth with your off-hand.

[00:33:15] Now we're going to end talking about it practice practice practice practice. Like anything else, it can be improved over time with continuous practice. So make sure you're practicing these financial habits. And if you need someone to check in with I'm happy to talk about it with you.

[00:33:26] So shoot me an email. My email is in the show notes. Next I want to talk about today's handy hint. In today's handy hint, we're talking all about the smart framework for purchases. And the smart framework is a really helpful tool that I caught from today's interview.

[00:33:48] And it's going to help you make conscious and deliberate financial decisions. It's going to encourage you to pause and consider an comprehensive way how each purchase impacts you. And it's going to help you be deliberate in that decision making. So what a smart stand for?

[00:34:00] Well S is self-awareness. M is motive. A is affordability. R is research. And T is time slash opportunity cost. Let's talk about self-awareness first. This is going to help you understand your financial goals and assess whether the purchase aligns with them.

[00:34:15] Does this purchase you're about to make that you're considering with the smart framework, bring you closer to your ultimate financial objective if not, maybe you shouldn't buy it. motive. What's driving the purchase? Is it wanting to impress somebody else? Is it being influenced by external factors? Internal factors?

[00:34:31] Consider that. A affordability. Can you afford the purchase without negative consequences? Like interest? Things like that? Are you being proactive or reactive with your money? Think about if you can actually afford it. Not just whether you can afford the monthly payment, can you afford the item itself?

[00:34:47] R stands for research. Have you researched other opportunities? Have you looked into alternative options? Are there cheaper alternatives? Or better alternative? That you just need to put a little bit of research into. And that's really a big one with impulse purchases. Is there other options out there?

[00:35:02] And then number five or the T is time. Our opportunity cost. What are you giving up by making this purchase? What are you giving up in terms of time? Are you having to work more because of this purchase?

[00:35:13] So you're going to have to work a ton of overtime in order to make this purchase. And maybe if you just didn't make the purchase, you'd have your weekend back. That sort of stuff.

[00:35:20] So think about the smart framework and how it can help you make better financial decisions. Ultimately when you start thinking about this framework and start thinking about purchases through the smart framework, it can help reduce impulse purchases and help speed up your progress towards financial roles.

[00:35:34] And that's today's handy hint. Next let's dive into the money talk mastery and take a deep dive on time in our financial decisions. In today's money talk mastery segment we're talking about the importance of time in our financial decisions. So let's start off with the value of time.

[00:35:59] Time is a crucial factor in our decision making and in our financial decisions. The earlier we start saving and investing, the more time our money has to grow with the power of compound interest. And I don't think this is anything new that you're hearing for the first time.

[00:36:11] Maybe it is because this is the first financial podcast you've ever listened to. But it's very likely that you've heard of the idea of compound interest in time before. So let's move on to the next one of time lost equals opportunity lost.

[00:36:22] Every moment we delay and making sound financial decisions, we're implementing good financial habits. We miss opportunities for our money to work for us. So this is a great one. If you've been delaying for many, many, many years budgeting or tracking your expenses,

[00:36:37] well you're losing opportunities where you could be gaining chances to understand how your money could work for you or you're missing out on opportunities to understand you're spending a little bit better.

[00:36:46] So implement those good financial habits sooner so that the time can be on your side with being able to make other changes. Of course the earlier you start the quicker your money can get invested and begin over time to lead you towards financial independence.

[00:36:59] The more time you give your money to grow, the less you have to work hard for it in the future. Because if you start early, if you're starting your 20s or earlier investing in simple index funds

[00:37:08] that money is going to have a chance to grow and you're going to get to financial independence a whole lot sooner. Time is also a finite resource. Just like money, you only have a limited amount of it.

[00:37:17] If anything, you have a more limited amount of time than you do money. You can go out there and make more money. You can get a job that makes more money. If you're in sales, you may be able to sell more things like that.

[00:37:27] But you're not able to go to some sort of a market and buy more time. That's just not feasible. You are able to trade money to get time back by paying people do things and stuff like that.

[00:37:38] But understand time is a resource that we're not going to get more of. So make sure you're using it wisely when it comes to handling our money. For procrastination goes hand in hand with the second point here about opportunities being lost.

[00:37:49] If you're delaying financial decisions, those can have long-term impacts. Not only do you lose potential growth on your investments and things like that, but you also lose the potential to make financial changes and have it changes and things like that by doing them later and later in life.

[00:38:03] So reduce your financial stress and cut out the procrastination, send me an email and I'd love to help you get started with your financial changes that you may want to make. The money-talking points if you are asking them to yourself and there's something that came to mind.

[00:38:16] Send me an email about one of those questions you need to answer and I'd be happy to help troubleshoot it with you. Also in today's mastery segment, financial habits takes time. And I know I'm sitting here saying, change your habits. Cut the procrastination. Things like that.

[00:38:29] But it does take time so give yourself a little bit of grace there. Understand that budgeting takes about three months to implement. So if you're in month two of budgeting and it feels like it's never going to get better,

[00:38:39] use this as a chance to take a deep breath. And then after you take that deep breath, realize you still got many months to update and do better. And honestly even if you're month three or four or five of budgeting and it's still tricky, that's okay.

[00:38:51] Understand that it takes time to build financial habits and to implement them. But since you're starting early and since you're getting your financial habits going now, you're going to just further reduce that time that it would have taken because if you wait to start budgeting

[00:39:03] and you're on month eight and it's still challenging, just think if you were to start a budgeting today and now think eight months from now. You're absolutely going to be better at budgeting eight months from now so it'll be glad you've already started.

[00:39:15] And also just as a final impact on time, make sure you recognize it in goal setting. Make sure you understand that there needs to be a time element to our goals. Do you want to make sure you're getting better at budgeting within six months? Things like that.

[00:39:27] Do you want to make sure that you have a hundred thousand dollars in six years or something like that? Understand that time plays a role and make sure your goals are set around some sort of a time factor because that can be extremely important.

[00:39:38] Ultimately, it's really not a good financial conversation unless you're talking about time. Because time plays such a huge factor. How long do you have to be invested? How long do you have to make the financial change? Things like that. How quickly do you need the money?

[00:39:51] That's all a time-based factor. So in today's money talk mastery, make sure you master the art of thinking about time when it comes to our money. But let's wrap up today's episode next. As always, thank you again to our wonderful guests, Connor Tyson for coming on today's episode.

[00:40:15] I hope you can apply the insights that you learned from today's interview and today's money talk. I think it was a really great one so be sure to share with a friend. In conclusion, here are the five most mentioned aspects from today's episode.

[00:40:26] The Financial Tugger War and its impact on your financial health. Number two, the importance of gaining perspective on our financial struggles and asking good questions. Number three, behavior and habits play a key role in our financial decisions. Number four, accountability partners are incredibly valuable.

[00:40:44] If you listen quite a few episodes ago with Johnny Bowen, we talked about money buddies. So make sure you keep that in mind. And number five, discussing money openly, has a lot of power and it's going to help you improve your financial behaviors.

[00:40:55] So make sure you're talking about money with friends or send me an email. Of course you know I love to talk about money. My email is in the show notes. But thank you so much for listening to money talk for Skylar Flaming.

[00:41:05] And remember to check out the website at SkylarFlaming.com and make sure you win the Financial Tugger War by starting to understand your financial struggles and make the necessary behavior changes. Thank you for listening to Money Talk with Skylar Flaming.

[00:41:18] This show is provided for information and entertainment purposes and may not be specific to your unique situation. Please be sure to do additional research before making any financial decisions.